#I genuinely never stop thinking about him
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the fact that touya probably died alone in that life support tube and was never able to tell his family how he felt (could barely talk after the attack) is actually breaking my heart. like hori made him suffer so much after LOSING and having to live on life support that only dragged out his pain, just to DIE?? like?? i seriously don't understand how he could create such a complex and genuinely wonderful character with so much potential just to kill him off? if he had touya survive the attack than he should've had a greater purpose for it, not just to kill him off later instead. like he had the worst fucking ending and life out of everyone in this manga. he was the only one in the league that didn't get the closure he needed so desperately ☹️ like i can't stop thinking about him. imagine how badly he wanted to live after the attack when he saw his family fighting for him, and the one time in his life where he wants to live, he dies.
#he had so much to say :((#dabi#bnha#mha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#touya todoroki#mha dabi#bnha dabi#dabi x reader#todoroki family#dabi todoroki#todoroki touya#touya#touya todoroki headcanons#touya x reader#mha touya#bnha touya#todofam#todoroki#mha spoilers#bnha spoilers
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Low Pain Tolerance | S.R. x Reader
image by reidgif <3
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader Word Count: 1.4k Category: angst, hurt/comfort? Warnings: commitment issues, wildly insecure!reader (it's really just me) A/N: I haven't written for Spencer before, so please excuse any OOC inaccuracies and be nice okay! I am a long-time lurker/admirer of the lovely @pathologicalreid and am writing this for her cutesy margovember event :) Song Inspo: Low Pain Tolerance by Abby Holliday
You never enjoyed running.
Still, that didn't stop you from doing it often. Whether it be on the job or in a relationship, you ran.
To catch a bad guy. To catch yourself before you fall. To stop something terrible before it happens... You ran.
In this instance, you found yourself running from Spencer Reid.
"Would you look at me? Please?" he pleaded.
You knew if you were to turn around that you'd see his glassy doe eyes and be drawn right back in. You knew your weaknesses, and he was certainly one of them. The biggest one. That's why you stayed put, staring at his bedroom wall.
"I can't, Spence." You meant to say it with finality, but it came out more as a whimper.
"You can't look at me, or you can't-"
"Neither. Both."
As the holidays approached, Spencer had mentioned the idea of the two of you making a trip out to Vegas. "Just for a day or two," he'd promised. Though there wasn't much he treasured about home, you knew that his mother was there, and that was more than reason enough.
This evening, he'd brought it up again after letting you avoid the topic for weeks.
"It's only a matter of time before you figure it out," you admit.
"Figure what out?"
"God, Spence, that I'm only bringing you down!" you nearly shouted, though you hadn't meant to. The anxiety took over. "I'm like... gahhh! I don't know how to do any of this, I-"
To your dismay, he let out a laugh as you finally turned to face him. A real, genuine laugh.
"Bringing me down?" He looked at you with an earnest amusement. "Honey, I don't think you realize what you-"
"I'm scared. Okay? Is that what you wanted me to admit? That I'm scared of meeting her?" A single tear gushed down your cheek.
His brows knit in concern as he quickly thought of ways to disprove the common fears surrounding schizophrenia and it's manifestations.
"Baby, schizophrenia doesn't ma-"
"Dammit Spencer, it's not about that! It's- I..."
You found yourself stumbling over your words.
"I don't care about her diagnoses!" you laughed. (Of course, you did care, but that wasn't what was scaring you.) "I'm scared of this!" you said, waving your hands between the two of you. "I don't want to rush it. I don't want to get her hopes up..."
You let your legs give way to sit on the floor against the wall, your head in your hands, mumbling to the cold hardwood.
"I don't want to get my hopes up."
There was it. That was the truth.
You weren't used to it. You weren't used to someone asking you how your day was and really caring. You weren't used to the notion that a man would want to wrap himself around you at night and keep you close. You'd never been one to draw much attention from men. Or women. Or anyone, really.
Naturally, you figured that there must be something deeply and inherently flawed in you. Something Spencer had yet to discover.
So, being with him was... terrifying. You were constantly waiting and wondering when he'd conclude that you weren't as pretty as he initially thought, or as witty, or as intelligent, or kind, or...
And it would only be cruel to drag Diana into this. To have her think that perhaps her son had found his person. To have her thinking that she might be meeting her future daughter-in-law. It felt cruel to yourself, in some twisted way, to pretend that this was all going to last.
Spencer was typically a fast thinker, but your admission had the cogs in his brain working overtime. You were afraid of him? Of your relationship?
He padded over to join you on the floor, keeping a little distance so as not to scare you.
"Get your hopes up? You don't-" he gulped, "I mean... you don't think we're gonna- that this is gonna work out?"
Still speaking to the floor, you sigh, "I don't know, Spence."
You were exhausted. Incessantly feeling like you're on the brink of being "found out" can do that to a person. It's not that Spencer hadn't done all the right things. No, he was the perfect partner. But therein lied the issue. He was perfect. And, in your opinion, you were far, far from it.
You took a deep breath through your tears.
"I don't think I can keep doing this."
Confusion. Utter shock. Things had been going so well with you the past 8 months. Spencer immediately began to wrack his brain combing through all the possible mistakes he could've made. Did he raise his voice with you? Had he forgotten some big milestone? Was he not giving you enough?
"Honey I-" he gathered himself, placing a hand on your thigh, "I'm so sorry. Can I ask... what makes you say all this?"
Though you were reluctant, you figured that now was as good a time as any.
"Spencer. I am not good for you! Good enough for you!" With each point, you illustrated by raising a finger, "I am impulsive and I complain and I get weird sometimes when you touch me and I can be a massive bitch and I never know how to-"
"Woah, woah, woah-" He snuck up closer to you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and placing his head atop yours, all while you kept rambling. "Why in the world do you say that? Not good enough for me? If anything it's me who isn't deserving of you..."
"No, you-"
He stopped you in your tracks just by saying your name in that beautiful way he does. Like its covered in honey and dripping with admiration.
"You are everything. You may think those things about yourself but I certainly don't." His thumb caressed your bare skin so carefully as he continued, speaking slowly so as to allow the words to really sink in. "You are the most generous person I've ever encountered. You care so deeply about people you love. You are courageous and willing to try all the weird foods I suggest even though you really don't want to." He smirked a bit at that one. "You have taken everything that life has thrown at you and navigated it with grace. You really are just... you're it. You're her. You're the girl - the woman - I've always hoped would come my way but never dreamed actually would. Honey, I've figured out everything I need to know when it comes to how I feel about you."
You sat there, warm under his embrace, pondering his words as he spoke. It's nothing he hasn't said before, granted, in much less grand and emotionally charged ways. But it was like you were really hearing it for the first time. You wanted so badly to believe him.
"I love you," he continued. "I love you so much that sometimes I am afraid of myself. Of what I'd do for you. You, god, you make me so much better."
"I love you, too. Too much," you squeaked out.
"No. Not too much." He leaned back to encourage you to look up at him. "You know I really mean all that right? Just the way you are. Quirks included?"
"I guess. And now I'm just self-conscious that I am so self-conscious..."
"You say that as if I'm not the exact same way!" he chuckles, trying to make light of what is clearly a shared wound. You'll deal with that later. Together, preferably. "Please, trust me. Do you trust me?"
And you did. You trusted Spencer with every cell in your body and hair on your head. There was nobody else you'd ever been so confident in. So, you nod against his chest as your tears begin to subside.
"Good. Now why don't we move this party up into the bed?"
"No offense, Spencer, but the last thing I want right now is to f-"
"No no no nooope! Not that, babe," he laughed. "Just wanna lay with you 'til this feeling passes. Is that okay?"
"Please."
And so, the rest of the evening consisted of cuddles under your massive comforter. Sweet admissions whispered in your ear. The tiniest kisses to your hairline and your shoulder and your nose and your wrists.
By the time you dozed into a worry-free slumber, you believed him a little more.
Perhaps you could let Spencer love you, forever.
#spencer reid#criminal minds#divider by bunnysrph#margovember#criminal minds fic#Spencer Reid fic#Spencer Reid fanfic#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you
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Lol I'm not against writing more installments but, like, be forewarned that if left on my own this would end in bittersweet tragedy. I can't write canon compliant Skystar any other way.
I mean I'd have Skyfire be suspiciously okay with Ratchets explanations and quietly let him continue treating him and take him back to Cybertron to meet the other autobots. He gets introduced, given a big habsuite, etc and the others try to catch him up on stuff.
But, like, Skyfire proves to be quiet, and incredible standoffish if polite. Requesting time before being "educated" and asking only to use their tech unrestricted so he can "catch back up" on things. Which they let him do. Skyfire is even nice enough to upgrade some systems for them.
Some of the bots, like Ratchet, are dissatisfied though. Like they suspect he's in shock but can't quite shake the feeling somethings off.
But they largely disregard it.
Skyfire has basically been in a coma, and he's a mild mannered scientist! He never even took part in the war! Sure he's big but what harm could he cause?
And then Skyfire uses his "upgrades" to temporarily ground all their vehicles but one and then hijacks said vehicle after stealing Starscreams last known locations and rendering their systems temporarily unable to to track them .
The autobots scramble to chase after them. Some thinking he's addle brained. Some thinking he was a sleeper agent. Others (accurately) thinking lovestruck idiot. But they don't manage to stop him from leaving and are left trailing with Skyfire having a major headstart.
Sky and Star DO reunite and Star is genuinely overjoyed to see him again and they get to be cute for awhile. Course then Skyfire brings up the utter slander that was being said about him and wanted to find Star to clear things up and Starscream (being Starscream) winds up pulling a similar stunt to the Orion Pax multiparter in Prime, only he's actually GOOD at telling half truths and softening up his role in the war playing up being a victim. All of which Sky believes unquestionly.
This is his shooting Star. His little bird. His sweet seeker. OF COURSE he's going to believe him over a bunch of war mongers.
Sadly Starscream being Starscream can't leave well enough alone and does wind up manipulating Sky into helping with some new grab for power under the guise of protecting themselves. He does still love Skyfire, or at least remembers loving him, and genuinely never wants to be separated from him again. Even if that does begin looking rather possessive.
Of course it all falls apart.
The autobots arrive, Starscream can't keep a lid on his ambition and corrupted pragmatism, and it's all revealed to Skyfire who us crushed by just how much Star has changed.
And even more by the fact that Starscream expects him to ignore it.
Skyfire is for ed to acknowledge that though he's remained the same, Starscream is a completely different person and he can't stand by his actions.
They separate tragically, and Skyfire goes back with the autobots, agreeing to use his skills to further revitalize Cybertron.
Meanwhile Starscream is still off in space. Clutching a vial of Skyfires inner energon he always kept with him and mourning what he's lost before smashing it to pieces and hardening his resolve.
Like I said.
Bittersweet endings.
tfp autobutts gain a new recruit...
#sorry if yall were ecpecting a ton of fluff from me#like if it was 100% au or something then maybe you could get a happy ending outta me e#but canon complicit? to PRIME?#or maybe a fanon continuit#nah i cant write that and stay true to the characters#its the only way i can write canon complicit skystar#skystar#transformers#maccadam#maccaddam#fic#fanfic
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https://www.tumblr.com/amirasainz/768246287260942336/i-have-a-request-for-lando-norris-x-sisterreader
if you would could you write a part two?
like she really leaned on lando but also ollie and ollie was serious when he could he her bf …. and they get together
Enjoy reading and send some requests!!!
-xoxo babygirl 🧡
Part 1
Big Brother to the Rescue Part 2
The following months were a whirlwind for Yn. Since that difficult weekend at the Grand Prix, Lando had made it his mission to bring her along to as many races as possible. At first, she’d been hesitant, worried about being a distraction. But Lando insisted.
“Come on, Yn,” he said one evening over dinner. “I drive better when I know you’re there. You’re like my good luck charm.”
Yn snorted. “You can’t use me as an excuse for a bad weekend, you know.”
“Never,” Lando said with a grin. “So, what do you say? Come to the next one?”
She agreed, and soon, race weekends became a regular part of her life again.
---
At first, Lando kept a close eye on her. He’d constantly check in—asking if she needed anything, cracking jokes to make her laugh, and making sure she wasn’t overthinking about her ex. But as the months passed, Yn’s laughter returned, and her smile became brighter.
Lando couldn’t help but notice the change. She seemed genuinely happy again, which filled him with relief. But something gnawed at him. Why?
---
It was during a particularly busy race weekend when Lando finally got his answer. The McLaren garage was bustling with engineers, mechanics, and team members preparing the cars for qualifying. Lando had just finished a debrief and decided to swing by the garage to check on Yn.
As he stepped inside, he froze.
There she was, standing off to the side with Ollie.
They were deep in conversation, their faces lit up with wide smiles. Yn’s laugh echoed softly over the hum of activity, and Lando narrowed his eyes. Why is he making her laugh like that?
Then he saw it.
Ollie leaned in, saying something that made Yn blush and look down shyly. And before she could tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, Ollie gently did it for her.
Lando’s jaw tightened.
Oh no, no, no.
He started striding toward them, fully prepared to put an end to whatever this was. But before he could take more than a few steps, a hand caught his arm.
It was Oscar.
“Where are you going?” Oscar asked, his tone calm but firm.
“To remind Ollie that he’s not allowed to flirt with my sister,” Lando said through gritted teeth.
Oscar raised an eyebrow. “Why?”
“Why?” Lando repeated incredulously. “Because she’s my little sister. That’s why.”
Oscar glanced over at Yn and Ollie. They were still talking, completely unaware of Lando’s growing frustration. Yn laughed again, her eyes sparkling in a way Lando hadn’t seen in months.
“Look at her,” Oscar said, nodding toward them.
“I am,” Lando snapped. “That’s the problem.”
“No, that’s the solution,” Oscar replied. “She’s smiling again, Lando. She’s happy.”
Lando hesitated.
Oscar continued, his voice softer now. “You’ve been worried about her for months, and now she’s back to being herself. Don’t ruin that because you’re being overprotective.”
Lando opened his mouth to argue but stopped. He looked at Yn again—really looked at her. She was radiant, her cheeks flushed from laughter as she teased Ollie about something.
And Ollie...
Lando hated to admit it, but Ollie looked at Yn with genuine affection. The way he leaned toward her, hanging on her every word, and the tenderness in his gaze—it wasn’t just flirting.
It was something more.
Oscar gave Lando a pat on the back. “Think about it,” he said before walking away.
Lando stood there for a moment, torn. His instincts screamed at him to protect Yn, to pull her away and remind Ollie who she was. But Oscar’s words lingered in his mind.
She’s smiling again.
With a heavy sigh, Lando took a step back. He turned and walked out of the garage, leaving Yn and Ollie to their moment.
---
Later that evening, Yn found Lando sitting outside the hospitality area, staring at the sky.
“Hey,” she said, sitting beside him.
“Hey,” he replied.
She nudged him with her elbow. “You okay?”
Lando glanced at her, noticing the contentment in her expression. “Yeah. Are you?”
Yn smiled softly. “I am.”
They sat in silence for a while before Yn spoke again. “Thanks for bringing me to all these races. I needed this.”
“You needed more than that,” Lando said, his voice teasing but warm.
Yn tilted her head, confused. “What do you mean?”
“Nothing,” Lando said quickly, shaking his head. “Just...I’m glad you’re happy.”
She studied him for a moment, then leaned her head on his shoulder. “I have the best brother in the world, you know that?”
“Obviously,” Lando replied with a grin.
They stayed like that for a while, the sounds of the paddock fading into the background. And though Lando still had his reservations about Ollie, he decided he could live with it.
As long as Yn was smiling, that was all that mattered.
#formula 1#formula 1 x reader#xoxo babygirl 💋#lando norris x reader#lando norris x sister!reader#ollie bearman x reader#oscar piastri x norris!reader#oscar piastri x reader#oliver bearman x reader#norris!reader
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in my rook hating mindset now after that post this morning and cannot stop thinking about how they are literally the worst protagonist maybe in any story i have ever experienced JRHGKJERHGJERG. and like if you love your rook i am not saying you shouldn't. if you love your rook i am so so happy for you genuinely but you are also probably brilliant and have a huge brain because what the game gives you to build off of is so abysmal.
i literally cannot stop thinking about how insane it is that rook literally causes a double blight and worldwide catastrophe on a scale which thedas has not seen probably since the creation of the veil itself and just. experiences no remorse. and the story tries to tell us thats a good thing and makes them better than the villain/their foil. JHREGJKHERGJKHERG. HELLO?!!??!?!?! literally no one ever goes "hey maybe you shouldnt have done that" except solas and hes framed as the VILLAIN!!! WHAT!!!!!!!!!! hawke blames themselves for not putting the pieces together fast enough when a bouquet of white lilies arrived at their door? the narrative gleefully condemn anders with the immediate opportunity to kill him for his crimes. nearly every single character in origins immediately puts the entirety of the responsibility for the fifth blight on loghain's shoulders, regardless of the CLEAR SUGGESTION that the battle at ostagar could never have been won. and all of these makes sense for the world and characters!!!!! of course hawke would blame themselves for their families deaths when they were given the role of protector by leandra after malcom dies. of course the city of kirkwall is going to want anders dead for his extreme act of violence rather than start the uncomfortable process of acknowledging the beloved chantry's complicity in large scale abuse happening in the mage circles!!!! of course alistair and the warden are going to blame loghain for the blight and cailan's death!!!! it doesnt matter if they are right or wrong, it makes sense for their perspective and worldview to feel this way!!!!
have yall gotten the low approval conversations in inquisition????? solas's "Inquisitor. Tell me. How does it feel? Being you. Are you blissfully unaware or, deep inside, is some part of you banging on the walls, screaming?" cassandra getting drunk and practically spitting in your face how she regrets raising you up to such power? blackwalls' "Are you proud of yourself, of what you’ve built here? How about the lives you’ve destroyed along the way? Given much thought to those lately? Is this Inquisition all you wanted it to be? Because I’m disappointed. All I see is a gang of thugs led by a self-serving tyrant." and these SCATHING comments from those who once believed in the inquisitor enough to join their cause come from decisions that affect a fraction of the population that dies under the southern double blight. people will rip the inquisitior to fucking shreds when they fuck up. THATS THE ENTIRE POINT OF THE TRESPASSER DLC EHRGKJHERGKJHERG. like holy shit every decision carries the weight of "oh my god whos gonna hate me. who is going to die because of my choice. how is this going to come back to bite me." have we forgotten what its like to return to varric after leaving hawke in the fade and confess what we did? the call we just made? to look him in the eye and tell him that we sacrificed his best friend? WHY IS ROOK NEVER ASKED TO PARTICIPATE IN ANY OF THIS INTROSPECTION?????????? TO EVALUATE HOW THEIR DECISIONS AFFECT THOSE AROUND THEM BOTH PERSONALLY AND SOCIETY AS A WHOLE????? OH MY GODDDDD
the regret prison scene is so insane. first its insane because its solas at his best and most cunty. but secondly it makes no fucking sense even if im largely distracted by pookie being fun and villainous. solas tries desperately to play up rook's regrets during their conversations and we are supposed to believe that it was that manipulation that allowed him to swap with them in the prison. how does this actually work? blood magic? dont worry about it, kitten. but then when we get into the prison.... the only two regrets that manifest are things that just happened within the last 3 hours - your two party sacrifices. lets be clear that these are not even real sacrifices because literally all of these people volunteer to go and then argue about why they should go. this is so fucking stupid. then rook looks at the statues and says "i dont regret this because this was your choice". YEAH????? OF COURSE YOU DONT FUCKING REGRET IT WHY WOULD YOU. HELLO???? THIS WAS NOT ROOKS CHOICE THIS WAS ROOK JUST SAYING "SURE I GUESS". AND THEN THATS ENOUGH! THEY JUST LEAVE BC THEY CONQUERED THEIR REGRETS!?!?!?!?!??! WHAT!!!!!! there is no discussion of rook being responsible for the blight in the south that we find out via ooc inquisitior letter has KILLED LITERALLY EVERYONE. no suggestion that their recklessness and willingness to act WITHOUT ALL THE INFORMATION at the ritual is the reason for every single thing the evanuris do following their release.
and let me be very clear bc i know this was causing drama on twitter last week. i am not saying the double blights is rook's fault. i actually dont think it is their fault, although i do think they are stupid and reckless and shouldn't have acted so carelessly. but although rook is responsible for ghilly and edgar breaking free, rook is not responsible for the their actions following that freedom, and rook is not at fault for being put into an impossible situation (the need to stop solas's ritual) without all of the information on what the ritual was and what stopping it might incur. however, the double blight is rook's fault in the same way that the veil, the fall of the elvhen empire, elven mortality, and every demon's existence is solas's fault; which is to say, it is and it is not. solas was backed into a corner, in a desperate situation without knowledge of the potential consequences, and was forced to make a decision for the good of the world when he imprisoned the evanuris and blight with the veil. rook was backed into a corner, in a desperate situation without knowledge of the potential consequences, and was forced to make a decision for what they thought was the good of the world when they interrupted solas's ritual. but while solas feels immense guilt and responsibility for the choice he made, rook feels.... absolutely none. and the game tells us that... they're right? people should just not take accountability for anything? i will give credit where it's due here that varric's contribution to this scene is quite good and his line where rook tries to take responsibility for his death and varric says smth like "no, that was my own choice and you dont get to take that from me" is B A N G E R. WHERE WAS THAT ENERGY IN THE REST OF THIS FUCKING GAME!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?
THAT was the lesson solas needed to learn, not that his regret was wrong but that it was MISPLACED!!!!!!!!! and that is why it is mythal acknowledging that their burden is shared and not his alone is the culmination of his entire story and what finally allows him to move on. pride stands alone, wisdom seeks out the input of others to make an informed and wise decision. this is also why he leaves such breadcrumbs for the inquisitor (a high approval one, at least) because he respects their opinion and their input and their existence and the way they treat him turns him back into wisdom from pride. this is why a romanced inquisitor mentions his name being pride and how its possible that hes not even CAPABLE of changing his mind because it would be so against his nature, and he needs someone whose opinion he values to show him the way. his flaw is his SELF INFLICTED LONELINESS!!!!! NOT HIS REGRET. varric even fucking says this in some random banter you get with his ghost in the infirmary but im too lazy to go find it on my desktop. its something about how he sees attachments as a weakness rather than a strength. his pride causes him to take on responsibility that is not his, his wisdom -> pride corruption has led him to believe he is the only one capable of fixing the world's problems and he will destroy both himself and those he loves in the process. he asserts that he is just a man but is unable to stop making decisions for the world like a god.
THIS is the solas/rook foil that should have been: rook relies on their friends and that reliance is ESSENTIAL; after all, the neve/bellara and davrin/harding sacrifice is essential to win. in contrast solas refuses to rely on anyone, and this isolation makes him increasingly cruel. when he has no one to mirror the way a spirit should, he becomes Pride, too proud and too god-like. his attachments make him more human. he is terrified of depending on others and will kill them rather than risk the vulnerability of dependence after what it has done to him (mythal, felassan). he has to unlearn this avoidance and fear, he has to admit that there "could have been a better way" that someone else saw and he did not. he must learn that he does not have all the answers. he is not Pride. its NOT that rook doesnt experience regret and doesn't take accountability for mistakes while solas is trapped by his own regrets. the message we got instead is so incoherent. but it was SO CLOSE TO BEING GOOD. the bones of this are littered everywhere in both the game and in the datamined content and for some reason it just could not be brought together in a way that makes sense.
the message that rook is "right" and better for not having regrets is genuinely insane, especially when the "regrets" they have to conquer are literally just. other peoples decisions. the fact that rook has the audacity to say to solas that he could never escape the prison while they could so easily because he is trapped by his own regret as if rook is better than him is genuinely so fucking dumb it makes me want to claw my eyes out for having been forced to read it. rook sacrifices nothing and learns nothing. the sacrifices within the game belong to the characters that make them, rook does not order people to their deaths in the same way that solas or even THE INQUISITOR do. rook never is asked to grapple with the fact that they ACCIDENTALLY unleashed a double blight, no matter how good their intentions. WHY DOES NO ONE BLAME THEM FOR THIS???? regardless of if it is their fault or not, the objective truth of fault does not matter, what matters is that you make decisions and PEOPLE JUDGE YOU FOR THEM!!!!!!!!! THIS IS LIKE FOUNDATIONAL TO THESE GAMES JEHRGJKREHGJKRHG. this is what the entire game is about doing to solas. judging him. based on his choices. and the game clearly wants you to have empathy for him in the end. but its so OBVIOUS that the vessel for building up that empathy should have been ROOK EXPERIENCING THE SAME THING!!! THE SAME JUDGEMENT!!! THE SAME GROWTH!!!!! FEELING THE BURDEN OF THE WORLD ON THEIR SHOULDERS. FEELING THE DREAD OF GUILT AND SHAME AND REGRET. TRYING TO DEFEND THEIR INTENTIONS!!! I DIDNT MEAN TO I DIDNT MEAN TO IT WAS A MISTAKE!!!! LEARNING THAT THEY HAVE TO OWN UP TO IT BUT THEY ALSO HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO MOVE FORWARD!!!!!! HELLO!??!?!?!?! they BARELY even express remorse for the treviso/minrathous sacrifice, even when faced with neve/lucanis's anger they just go "a decision had to be made and i made it". well. YEAH? LIKE YEAH THATS RIGHT BUT HUMANS HAVE FEELINGS??? YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE A PERSON, NOT A BLANK SLATE VIDEO GAME PROTAGONIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS OKAY TO FEEL BAD!!!! YOU MADE A DECISION THAT RESULTED IN PEOPLE DYING. ANY HUMAN BEING WOULD FEEL BAD ABOUT THIS. ITS KIND OF FUCKING WEIRD THAT YOU DO NOT. HOW IS ROOK JUST BORN BEING OK WITH THIS. ITS SO ROBOTIC AND ARTIFICIAL LOL
rooks actions are such a clear, perfect parallel to solas putting up the veil and the guilt that haunts him afterwards that i KNOW it was intended that way and somehow it just got completely shafted. it literally feels like they did have a coherent parallel going and for some reason were forced to change directions last minute and thus we got some mish mashed barely cobbled together incoherent nonsense with clear echoes of its former self. instead rook has no flaws, makes perfect judgements at all time, has unconditional support from all of their friends who also make perfect judgements, are immune to making mistakes, and the message is its actually just really easy to not have regrets if you just choose right every time and refuse to take responsibility for anything as long as you had good intentions :D
#wow this just pissed me off so bad out of nowhere lMAO#dont leak this to twitter they'll flay me alive#datv critical#mine.txt#character analysis
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best seat in the house.
blame it on the moustache.
eddie diaz x female reader (nickname - blue)
warnings - smut. cursing. I think the word moustache is in this about 500 times.
word count - 3k
authors note - save a horse, ride a… firefighter. we all know I go feral for a pornstache, so it was only a matter of time before this happened.
masterlist. inbox.
You’re going insane.
You’ve been away for two months, on a placement course with the academy. As a trainee EMT, you’ve been lucky enough to earn your place in the 118, the one firehouse that every firefighter and paramedic in Los Angeles covets. With that comes training days and practical exams and occasionally, a two month placement that you’re scored and assessed on.
You passed with flying colours, of course - no one doubted you for a second. You’d expected to cruise back into your firehouse after some time away like you’d never left, everything exactly the same as it was.
Except, you’re going insane.
Eddie Diaz has a moustache.
A full on 80s inspired pornstar brush of a moustache.
It suits his face beautifully, accentuating his dark features and those big brown eyes. It’s made him ten times more attractive - which you didn’t think was even possible. You’ve had a harmless crush on him ever since your first day, and the moustache seems to have accelerated it tenfold.
“Are you okay?”
A heavy arm is slung around you, pulling you into the side of a solid body. You know who it is based on his cologne. You relax into him, resting your head on his shoulder.
“Yeah, I’m good.”
He looks at you skeptically, eyebrows raised.
“Blue.”
“Buck.”
“You’ve been kinda spacey these last couple of days. What’s the deal?”
“There’s no deal. Just tired, I guess.”
“You’d tell me if something was wrong though, right?”
You look up at him, heart melting at the genuine concern in his eyes.
“Of course I would,” you reassure. “Love you.”
“Love you,” he mumbles into your hair, pressing a kiss onto your head. “Even if you are stubborn as hell.”
You chuckle, burrowing further into his side and getting comfortable on the couch. You both sit like that for a while, praying the alarms don’t sound so you can enjoy your peace a little while longer.
“Hey, Blue?”
The source of all of your stress comes striding up the stairs, all bright eyed and gorgeous.
“Eddie.”
He takes a seat on the other side of you, pressing his thigh into yours. You will yourself to take a deep breath and calm down, before he feels all of the tension in your body.
“Chris has been counting down the days until you came back. You wanna come over for dinner tonight? He’s missed you like crazy.”
“I’d love to,” you breathe, grinning at him like an idiot.
He grins right back, squeezing your thigh quickly. You determinedly ignore the way electricity zips through your veins at the action.
“Alright, I’m gonna workout for a while. Let’s hope we don’t get a call when I’m mid weight set,” he laughs, winking at you cheekily before heading down the stairs.
Heat blooms across your chest as you bite your lip, trying to stop yourself from beaming from ear to ear. As soon as he’s gone, Buck grabs both of your shoulders, shaking you like a maniac.
“Oh. My. God.”
“What? Buck, what? Jesus, what?”
You grip onto his wrists, willing him to still his movements.
“That’s what’s gotten into you! It’s Eddie!”
You choke on your words, struggling to get any out - so you punch his leg as hard as you can, giggling when he yelps. Buck swings his arm around your neck, catching you in a headlock and pulling you into his lap. All you can do is try to wriggle out, smacking any of his body parts you can reach. Eventually you separate when you both crash onto the floor, laughing and out of breath.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he pants, lying next to you on the ground.
“Tell you what, Evan?”
“That you’re in love with Eddie.”
Your eyes go wide as your jaw drops open, alarm bells going off in your mind.
“Woah- that’s, yeah, uh… no.”
“Okay, not love, then. But you’ve got the hots for him. Big time.”
You sigh in defeat, head dropping back onto the wooden floor.
“He’s a handsome man.”
“I know,” he agrees. “All of us would agree with you on that.”
You lie in silence for a moment, praying that no one comes up the stairs and finds you here. Buck intertwines his fingers with yours, squeezing reassuringly.
“It’s the moustache,” you whisper. “The goddamn moustache.”
“Oh, you like a man with some facial hair?” he smirks, propping himself up on his elbow.
You sit up, leaning back against the sofa and dusting yourself off.
“I do. I like you better when you have a little bit of stubble going on.”
“Noted,” he winks. “You should tell him.”
“Huh?”
“That you like the moustache. He’ll appreciate it.”
“Yeah. No. Not gonna happen.”
“You never know… something good might come of it.”
“Evan. Are you hearing yourself?”
“Loud and clear, Bluey. Listen, you’re a beautiful girl. You tell Eddie you like his moustache… he tells you he likes your entire face… and boom. Fireworks.”
You throw your head back as you cackle, laughing with your full chest.
“You’re ridiculous.”
“I’m just saying! You never know what might happen.”
“And I’m just saying… you’re ridiculous.”
You’re startled suddenly by the bells ringing and lights flashing, both of you jumping up and running down the stairs towards the truck.
“Saved by the bell,” Buck grins, winking at you.
Saved by the bell indeed.
✵ ✵ · ✵ * · ✵
An evening with Chris is exactly what you need.
Only… that’s not what you get.
“He got invited to a birthday party at the movies last minute. I didn’t have the heart to tell him you were coming over. I should have called, Blue - I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” you soothe, kicking off your shoes by the door like you’ve done so many times before. “I brought wine, anyway. Just in case.”
“You’re the best,” he chuckles, heading to the kitchen to get some glasses. “You and I can catch up tonight. I want to know all about your assessments.”
“It wasn’t that exciting, really. Lots of time in a classroom listening to some old dude talking.”
You get comfy on the couch, tucking your legs underneath yourself and happily accepting the glass of wine that Eddie holds out to you. He takes the cushion next to you, turning so his body’s facing yours.
“Did they let you drive the ambulance?”
“Yes! We had driving lessons, which were hilarious. There were some people there I wouldn’t trust to drive a golf cart, never mind an ambulance with a dying patient in.”
He cackles, knocking his knee into yours. All you can think about is how good he smells, all woody and musky and masculine.
You launch into a story about an emergency amputation on a plastic doll to distract yourself, which ends in both of you in fits of laughter, tears dripping down your faces.
The bottle of wine goes down too smoothly over the course of the evening, both of you a little tipsy. You’ve inched closer, legs tangled as you lean into each others sides. You can’t stop giggling, warm and flushed and happy to be in one another’s company.
Eddie’s phone vibrates, both of you scrambling around the cushions to find it. Eventually, he finds it, both of you chuckling at the theatrics of it all.
“Hello? Oh, hi Jenna. Yeah, sure. No worries, that’s fine. Give me a call if he needs anything, alright? Okay, tell him I say goodnight. Thanks, Jenna.”
You raise your eyebrows in question.
“Chris is going to stay the night at Cameron’s. His mom was just checking it’s okay.”
“He’s so grown up now,” you sigh. “Where does the time go?”
“I wish I had the answer to that,” he says as he throws his phone onto the coffee table. “I’ve got no idea.”
You lean against the back of the couch, resting your head on top of your arms. Eddie stares at you with the softest look on his face that you’ve ever seen, mirroring your posture.
“We all missed you,” he murmurs. “The 118 wasn’t the same with you gone.”
“I missed you. All of you. I was counting down the days until I could come back.”
He smiles at you all gentle and honey sweet, and you’re surprised you don’t melt into a liquid on his nice couch. Your heart is thumping against your chest, working overtime to keep you upright and breathing.
It’s never been like this with Eddie. Or maybe it has. You’ve always been able to tamper down your feelings, keep them buried and in check - so much so that a beautiful friendship has blossomed over time. You don’t want to ruin what you’ve built by admitting you’ve got some silly school girl crush on him and his moustache. It’d kill you if you lost him - Christopher too.
“Have you done something different?”
His buttery voice breaks you out of your daydream.
“Hmm?”
“You look… different. In a good way. Beautiful.”
He’s rambling, trying to cover his tracks so it doesn’t look like he’s coming onto you. You smile, shaking your head.
“Thank you, but I don’t think so. Oh wait, I have a new blush on my cheeks. Maybe it’s that?”
“Suits you.”
You bite your lip to stop yourself from grinning like the Cheshire Cat.
“If I ask you a question, will you be honest with me, Blue?”
“Always.”
“What do you think of the moustache?”
Oh no. You pause, trying to formulate an appropriate answer quickly.
“I… like it.”
“You don’t sound like you do,” he chuckles.
“No, I do. I like it.”
“I thought you promised to be honest.”
His hand is resting on your knee, settled and comfortable. You’re not sure when he put it there, but you’re not complaining.
“I am being honest.”
“Look me in the eye, then.”
You hadn’t even realised you’d been avoiding him, too busy worrying about keeping your heart rate steady. You finally catch his gaze, those big brown eyes staring straight into your soul.
“Blue?”
“Eds?”
Your voices are low and cautious, careful not to disrupt the atmosphere you’ve created. You’re both wine drunk and warm, giddy off of the happiness of being reunited with one of your best friends.
“Tell me what you really think about the moustache. I trust you to be honest - if you think it’s terrible, I’ll shave it off right now.”
“Don’t shave it,” you say a little too quickly. “I meant it when I said I like it. Promise.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. You look good. Fuck, you look good.”
The wine is making you too honest, but it’s too late to turn back now. He wanted the truth… he’ll get the truth.
“Oh. You like it, don’t you?”
He’s got this cocky smirk on his face, arrogant and self assured. You wish you hated it, but you don’t. Unfortunately.
“So what if I like a man with facial hair? Is that a crime?”
“It’s not a crime,” he laughs. “Just didn’t think the pornstache would be your kind of thing.”
“Well I didn’t think it’d be yours either, but here we are.”
He looks at you with nothing but mischief in his eyes, gaze raking up and down your body slowly. A shiver runs down your spine, the hairs on your arms standing up in anticipation. You sit in the quiet for a moment, waiting for Eddie to make the next move - you’re worried that your raging crush means that you’re misreading the atmosphere of the room.
“You wanna take it for a spin?”
Time stands still for a moment, both of you holding your breath.
“I- I- you… Eds, I- what?”
He chuckles all low and slow, like butter wouldn’t melt.
“You wanna take it for a spin?”
You’re looking at him with your jaw hinged open, blinking like a deer in headlights. When you don’t say anything, Eddie speaks again.
“You wanna sit on it?”
You’re quite convinced you’re in another dimension, catapulted into an alternate reality all of a sudden. An alternate reality where Eddie Diaz is… asking you to sit on his face?
“I- what, um… where has that come from?”
You’re only now noticing the blush on his cheeks, unable to tell if it’s from you and the close proximity or the bottle of wine that now sits empty on the coffee table.
“You like the moustache. And I like you.”
He looks almost sheepish, like he didn’t mean to confess out loud.
“I… do like the moustache. And I do like you.”
He grins at you all bold and beautiful, and you can’t help but grin right back.
“I had a dream last month that you sat on my face,” he murmurs, leaning in so he’s talking right into your ear. “I can’t get it out of my head. It’s like it plays on repeat.”
You clear your throat, attempting to get words out.
“Tell me more.”
“It was the hottest thing I’d ever seen in my life. It felt so real, Blue. I swear I could taste you on my tongue when I woke up.”
You’re almost gasping for breath, heart working overtime in your ribcage as you pant.
“Well I guess I better… how did you say it? Take it for a spin?”
He quirks an eyebrow at you to ask are you sure?, which has you smirking at him with nothing but deviance in your eyes.
“It’d be rude not to, Eddie. Seeing as you asked so nicely. And seeing as the universe is sending you psychic, prophetic, sexy dreams about me.”
He doesn’t waste another second, shuffling down the couch so he’s lying flat. When you don’t move, he props himself up on his elbows, looking at you expectantly.
“You can’t sit on my face from all the way over there, Bluebird.”
Laughing in disbelief, you crawl your way up his body, stopping when you’re straddling his waist. You lean down, pausing so you’re nose to nose as you breathe each other in.
“Can I kiss you?”
He looks confused that you’re asking but nods eagerly, softness written all over his face. You kiss him gently, carefully, sweetly. You’re figuring each other out, not wanting to push any boundaries too far too soon.
Eddie slips his tongue into your mouth eagerly, hips bucking up into yours. It’s all teeth and lust carnal need, years of built up longing bubbling to the surface. When you’re both so out of breath you’re lightheaded, you pull away, pecking his lips quickly before standing up to shimmy your shorts and panties down your legs. Eddie looks drunk - not on the wine, but on you.
You climb back on top of him, shuffling up his chest so you’re hovering over his face. You’re completely sure you want this, but there’s a tiny little inkling of anxiety that’s spreading through your veins, lighting up your nerves.
“I’ll take care of you,” he promises, looking up at you with nothing but love in his eyes. “Always.”
“I know,” you smile, gently moving a stray strand of hair away from his eyes. “Show me what you’ve got, Diaz.”
With that, you quit the hovering and sit down exactly where he wants you, throwing caution to the wind.
Eddie takes it slow at first, taking mental notes. It’s all careful and loving and considered, both of you holding back. He’s kitten licking, sucking gently, savouring the taste of you while he can. Eventually, you get a little impatient, accidentally bucking your hips into his face.
“S’that what you want?” he mumbles from underneath you. “Use me, Blue. Take what you need.”
He doesn’t have to tell you twice, as you instantly grind your hips forward. He slips his tongue inside you, your back arching when the gorgeous slope of his nose bumps against your clit.
“Oh, fuck,” you breathe, tangling your fingers into his hair to use as leverage. “Right there, Eds. Keep doing that.”
He does exactly as he’s told, curling his tongue just right as you rock forwards and backwards, taking control of the situation. He’s groaning beneath you, clearly enjoying this just as much as you are. When you let out a particularly pornographic moan, his hips are bucking up into the air, desperate for any kind of friction.
“Close,” you mumble, fingers tightening in his hair. “So close, Eddie.”
His hold on your thighs only gets firmer, his grip bruising as he digs his fingertips into your flesh. As if he knows you need a little push, he smacks your ass hard with an open palm, the unexpected jolt of it sending you flying into your climax.
Eddie works you through it, tongue never ceasing its movements until you’re tugging him away and shuffling down so you can collapse against his chest. He wraps his arms around you, drawing patterns on any skin he can reach to calm your racing heart. There’s not an inch of space between you, bodies plastered together on his couch.
“You okay?” he’s asking all muffled into the top of your head.
“Never better.”
You feel his laugh rumble through your bones, making you chuckle.
“So… you don’t want me to shave the moustache?”
“You’re annoying,” you grumble, looking up at him with stars in your eyes. “But don’t you dare.”
“Yes ma’am,” he teases, pressing a kiss into your hair. “Loud and clear.”
You’re not sure how long the two of you lie all tangled up on the couch together. It doesn’t matter.
Tonight, you have all the time in the world.
#eddie diaz smut#eddie diaz x reader fluff#eddie diaz x reader#eddie diaz fluff#eddie diaz x reader smut#eddie diaz x you#eddie diaz x y/n#eddie diaz x female reader#eddie diaz imagine#eddie diaz fic#911 smut#911 imagine#911 x reader#911 x reader smut#evan buckley x reader#evan buckley x reader fluff#911 x you#911 fic#911 fanfic#eddie diaz fanfic
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Coincidence (Sylus x Reader/MC)
Tags: Angst, no comfort, jealousy, misunderstanding, GN Reader, MC Reader
Warnings: major insecurity,
Synopsis: You see Sylus with someone else, causing a misunderstanding between the two of you
It definitely wasn’t one of your best days. Your hair had been dull from exposing it to too much heat, and your skin was facing a breakout. He’d seen you at your worst and best before, and besides, Sylus didn’t care for those things so you didn’t think much about it when he called you over.
Maybe you should have.
She was everything you weren’t, everything people said you lacked, with a beautiful smile and perfect teeth. He called her closer to whisper something in her ear, to which both of them laughed, before she noticed you, gracefully bid her farewell to Sylus, and walked to the door.
“Will I be seeing you at the banquet tonight, sir?” She asked, turning slightly.
“I’ll let you know.” Sylus turned his attention to you, his lips curling up, and suddenly it did not feel so genuine. It felt cunning, manipulative, and the second you found your own brain blaming you for insecurity, you realised your thoughts were being manipulated. He wasn’t using his aether core or evol, it was all a plot, a power play to lift up your spirits and let you down, over and over again. Right?
“…you coming?” Sylus, whose voice was generally hard to ignore, had been talking about something.
“What?” You frowned, not sitting down or making yourself comfortable in his office like you usually would, which made him stand up and walk towards you.
“Would you like to come with me to the protocore auction tonight?” He repeated, staring deep into your blank eyes. He said he could see people’s deepest desires, and at that time you didn’t know what you even wanted.
“I’m actually busy.” You cautiously stepped back, feeling worse than you did when he first called you there. It hurt worse than your heart at its weakest state, than your throat all those times you’d scream when nightmares terrorised you, probably more than any other time an opponent hurt you.
He was about to say something, but a bailing ring on your phone interrupted you. You glanced quickly at who it was— Tara— and excused yourself to pick up the call, a cheerful voice saying something about being bored on her week off, and without a pause, you replied saying you’d be there.
“Really?!” She exclaimed, and you also realised how you’d been neglecting your friends, spending your free time with him instead.
“Really.” You replied solemnly, just walking out of his manor, only dropping a text that a friend needed you for something important.
You thought he’d chase after you, try to stop you, at least text you to stay, but he did nothing of that sort, and you were soon at Tara’s house with a pack of beer, chips, and hidden feelings.
“Maybe you should see other people.” She suggested, looking down at your palm to read the lines. “It seems like you’ll have many romances- ooh, I know, why don’t we go out tonight? Maybe we’ll find the one!”
“Tara, we’re not finding ‘the one’ at the club.”
“You never know!” Although she took the week off to recover, she was quite jumpy when getting ready, helping you too. It was pleasant to have someone like that around in times like those.
You looked better, finally, dressed well with your hair done, although you shouldn’t have done that considering how weak it was, but it felt nice to just feel adored for the first time in days. Tara took you to a tiny get-together with some of her team, the club thankfully not being too crowded. You got along with her friends, the free cocktails helping you get your mind off things.
It seemed you really hit it off with Andrew, captain of the analytics division, who also didn’t seem to mind Tara partying on her time off. “Everyone should have time off every once in a while.” He said, as the two of you watched her dance her heart out with a smile on your faces… and then trip on her own feet and fall.
The two of you rushed to her, helping her up, and calling a taxi for her. She insisted for you to stay and enjoy, telling you she’d be fine by herself. Andrew started to scold her for being reckless but she told the Taxi driver to step on it before he could finish, earning another laugh from you.
The cool breeze made you shudder, and the team leader gave you his coat. You thanked him shyly, the two of you talking for a while outside, until you spied a shiny eyed crow perched on a light pole, immediately ticking you off.
He was with someone else, so why was he interested in what you were doing? You put your arm on Andrew, leaning in to whisper something in his ear, holding his hand as the two of you went back inside.
Back at the base, Sylus watched you through Mephisto’s eyes, not having attended the auction himself as you wouldn’t be going.
“So that’s why you blew me off.” He mumbled to himself, turning off the screen after commanding Mephisto to make sure you got home safe.
He wondered what happened, where he went wrong, how he could fix things. You seemed down for a while, so he set up a perfect date night for the two of you, acquiring tickets for a ball in another city, having a designer deliver garments that would suit you personally earlier that day, because a week ago you told him you wished to attend one of those while mindlessly scrolling through the Pinterest board on your phone. He thought he’d surprise you, but then you hurried away from him, making him think something bad happened.
Now he supposed you just liked the simpler things in life, and a simpler man, too. Is that who called you when you ran without a bye? When he stared deep in your eyes and saw disgust again? You hated him, right? You liked someone else, right?
“Have it your way, sweetie.
Now I won’t chase after you.”
-x-
Pssst if you liked this, i wrote this concept (with a follow up happy ending chapter) for ZN too, I’ll link it in the reblogs!
Also let me know if you want a Part 2 to this and what it should be!
#sylus x reader#sylus x you#lnds x reader#l&ds sylus#love and deepspace#lads angst#sylus angst#shorts#fanfiction#headcanons#hcs#sylus x mc
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I've come back here again. It's midnight, I am up early tomorrow, but I can't stop thinking of this fic. I need to write my thoughts out.
I will not deny that I got into F1 because I thought the drivers were hot. I saw Senna and was infatuated. I was reading fics before I fully understood who he was or even watched any of his races. But, it was that infatuation that led me here– to this. This fic at first was something I never knew would leave such a lasting impression on me as a reader. It actually sparked my full-on interest into Formula 1 upon my second read. I didn't understand everything mentioned, and I wanted to know more. I had a hunger growing in me for knowledge and understanding. This feeling, once I'd acted upon it (I watched the Senna documentary, read the wiki, watched interviews, etc.) was one of the reasons I began to admire Ayrton for who he was, what he did, and everything else besides what I had initially– his looks. And it changed how I viewed other drivers, too. Yes, I still found them attractive, but knowing their stories painted something for me. An internalized artwork of sorts.
"Funny how you can miss someone you never met, right?" That sentence in your authors note. At first, I didn't get it. I didn't quite fathom the depths of it. Yet, now, as I write this, I believe I fully understand it. I wasn't alive to watch Mr. Senna race. I wasn't alive when he died, either. Despite this, I get this ache in my heart, like it's heavy, whenever I think about him. I can remember something, good or bad, and there is this hollow feel to my chest, and it makes me want to cry. And it's not like how I get sad over Michael Schumacher or Niki Lauda or even Brocedes, which are also some of my favourite things in this sport. This weight in my soul feels heavier than the weight of all the oceans combined. It wasn't something I was initially accustomed to, and it shocked me, because how could I miss someone I'd never even gotten the chance to meet?
That last thought made me remember this fic. The authors note. I came back. Admittedly, it's brought me back every time. I've read this fic countless times. I've cried every time. It is so violently sad in a way that it is so bittersweet that it makes me want to read it over and over for all of eternity. I want it engraved into the very forefront of my mind. The way you detailed this, the way it was structured and plotted, the dialogue, the characterization, the perfectly depicted pre-existing characters who you stuck to their genuine personalities and aspects, everything. From the first letter to the last period. This fic is, in my opinion, the definition of perfect. I was given a bite-sized portrayal of how devastated the reader was at the beginning of the fic, and it left me wondering how and why. Through each memory, you made me feel a stronger connection, and each return to the current setting tore a chunk out of my heart and soul. By the end, I was weeping.
I will never regret reading this fic. For taking the time to comprehend every word written here and to come back and do it again. It's definitely one of my, if not my #1, all-time favourite. Not just because it was the first fic to make me cry, but because of the future emotional attatchment I'd grow towards Ayrton. I will forever be grateful to you, the author, for probably introducing me to the greatest thing I could've never even imagined– the world of F1. Thank you.
saudade | as12
funny how you can miss someone you never met, right? my heart was aching today a lot and i cried even more while writing this so yes, it is long and it is sad, so you decide if you wanna read this or not. if you do, please enjoy if its even possible to enjoy bawling your eyes out lol
oh ayrton, you will always be missed
summary: during senna's funeral y/n has flashes of their shared past and what they could have together
warnings: for sure its intense, 5.6k words of pure sadness, thats it basically
pairing: fem!mclaren!driver x ayrton senna
It was a warm, pleasant day. The beginning of may didn't disappoint with the weather at all. A light, warm breeze swayed the flexible branches, on which fresh leaves were green. The sun was pleasantly warm, but it wasn't unbearable heat. Birdsong could be heard, but so could crying. On this day, mourners outnumbered the blossoming buds on the trees.
A crowd of people had gathered in front of the church, but it was nothing compared to the crowds still on their way. Everyone was dressed in black, and the only point of color in the black mass was a yellow dot, which from a bird's eye view resembled a sunflower petal, thrown onto the black, fertile soil. It was a helmet, a yellow racing helmet, which no one gathered there needed to be introduced to. In trembling hands, a young girl held it, never once moving it away from her chest. She held it against herself so tightly, as if she wanted to feel the warmth emanating from it, but it radiated coldness, like the inside of the church she was about to enter, barely able to keep herself on her feet.
Inside the chapel, it hadn't yet become crowded; the military made sure that the family and friends entered the church first. Inside, there was a grave silence, broken only by the occasional blowing of noses into tissues or a stifled sob.
The girl was aware of what was happening, she knew where she was and why she was there. However, her brain stubbornly avoided connecting the dots and completely pushed the facts out of her consciousness. If it had, she would probably have thrown the held helmet deep into the church, and it would have stopped only when it hit the wooden, solid coffin. The girl's gaze never once lifted towards her.
"Y/N, can you hear me?," the girl flinched when Ron's words reached her for the umpteenth time, "You know you don't have to be here, we can be outside."
The girl blinked several times, and at that very moment, her brain stopped pushing away the facts. Ron held her arm, his eyes swollen, his face even redder than usual. She herself pressed the helmet to her chest, so tightly that only when she moved it away from herself a little was she able to fully breathe. She raised her eyes and looked around. She stood in the front row of benches, where at the very top, just in front of the altar steps, stood the coffin. A large, carefully ironed Brazilian flag lay on it, its freely hanging ends touching the fresh flowers lying beneath it.
"Y/N…," the man began again, this time quieter. He saw tears in the girl's eyes, and he was about to continue, but she pressed the helmet tighter to her chest and started walking forward. She only moved the helmet away from herself when she placed it on the coffin. Y/N fell to her knees and began to sob, pressing her forehead against the hard lid. However, the lid of the coffin wasn't the only thing that separated her from her friend. The worst was death.
It was a brisk february morning. Silverstone Circuit had not yet woken up, there was no deafening roar of engines in the background, and the smell of burnt rubber didn't hang in the air.
Although it wasn't a race day and only a handful of people were milling around the facility, unlike the tens of thousands who usually flooded in for the weekend races, this day was expected to be exciting and full of emotions too.
Certainly, it was so for the 23-year-old Theodore Racing driver, who, sitting in the passenger seat on her way to the circuit, nervously picked at her nails. However, she should now be referred to as the "former Theodore Racing driver" because on this day, she had a test day at McLaren, with whom she signed a contract two weeks ago. In the past two months, the girl's life had changed dramatically. A few days after her birthday, she became the European Formula 3 World Champion, winning the title by just one point. One! The fact that she was so young and the only woman to rise so high meant that many people had their eyes on her and followed her every move. However, most people who hadn't seen her driving at over 200 kilometers per hour thought that being a woman automatically disqualified her from the sport. Ron Dennis, the head of McLaren, was familiar with her skills, though, and seeing how well she performed in the lower levels, he decided to take a risk and give her a chance. One of his proteges, however, wasn't so sure about this decision.
"Girl? You want to replace Prost with a girl?"
Senna, upon hearing the candidate to replace Alain, who, after five years of dealing with him, decided to quit and move away from McLaren, only shook his head.
"Yes, that's exactly what I plan to do," Ron lit a cigarette and shifted his gaze from the car to the disgusted face of the Brazilian, "Maybe she'll calm you down a bit. It's a miracle I found anyone to take Prost's place, no one wants to work with you!"
Ayrton snorted and shook his head again, unable to believe that his boss wanted to do something so idiotic. Silence fell in the garage, none of the mechanics intended to interrupt their conversation. Just like everyone else in the team agreed with Ron that it was a miracle to find anyone willing to take Prost's place, the same majority couldn't imagine a woman starting to race in Formula 1. Especially alongside a driver like Senna.
"A few races, and she'll quit on her own," the Brazilian muttered, "You'll see."
"Pray that she likes you and wants to race for us."
When the car stopped in the gravel parking lot, the girl got out and put on her sunglasses. Tom, her manager and a close friend of her father, just glanced at her and rubbed her back. He knew perfectly well how stressed she was. No one would be prepared for so much in such a short time.
"Everything will be fine."
"You don't have to say that."
He sighed and just pointed with his hand towards the entrance to the facility, letting her through the glass doors. He didn't convince himself too much. Shortly after, after receiving the appropriate instructions, they reached the paddock. Here, the sun didn't glare in her eyes, so the girl took off her glasses, looking around. An empty Silverstone was something unheard of.
"Good morning, welcome, good to see you,"
Ron, standing in front of the garage, as soon as he noticed the girl, broke off from the conversation with one of the mechanics and smiled at her, shaking her hand. She showed up for the tests, so he thought she deserved a shot. Maybe this would work.
The girl made an effort to smile and nodded at him. Fortunately, she didn't have to engage in a conversation with him because he was immediately engaged by her manager. She was glad that in moments like this, someone else could spare her from meaningless chatter.
"Good morning."
She greeted, approaching the car where a few men were working on the wheels, wing, and cockpit. Some of them spoke up, while the rest just nodded at her. She immediately felt unwelcome, and barely a minute had passed since she appeared in the garage. However, this was nothing new to her, she would lie if she said she was surprised. But the most important thing for her was that Ron treated her as an equal, or at least didn't make her feel like she didn't belong here. That gave her a sense of comfort. She didn't need a crowd standing behind her; she only needed two people who had her back.
The girl slowly walked around the car. The new, ready-for-the-season MP4/4 looked very good. Next to the car marked with her number stood another, practically identical, differing only in the number painted in red on the front.
However, the owner of the car was nowhere to be seen, at least not in sight. Y/N hadn't had the opportunity to meet Ayrton personally. The drivers' presentation with the car was scheduled for the end of the month, so it was quite likely that until then, she would have time to mentally prepare herself. She knew Ayrton from stories; she could watch his battles both on and off the track on television, the domestic war he waged with Alain Prost which ended with the Frenchman's departure to Ferrari.
Y/N knew she would have to face many things, one of which was Senna.
"Ready?"
Ron's voice snapped her out of her thoughts, he held a helmet and jumpsuit for her in his hand. She nodded and took the items from him, going to change. When she returned, she took her place in the cockpit, and after some time, when everything was ready, she followed the instructions and took her place on the track. She took a deep breath and clenched her hands on the steering wheel, staring at the start lights. When they went out, the girl sped off with squealing tires and the roar of the engine.
Ron and Tom stood next to each other, watching her movements on small monitors. After some time, the mechanics also began to glance at the monitors, seemingly more interested in whether she hadn't crashed yet than in her results. What surprised them was the sight on one of the displays showing her current lap time, which now stood at 1.38.412 seconds. Ron smiled and shook his head in amazement. The young girl was incredible.
The car itself wasn't handling badly. Besides feeling like a huge boat, to which she was definitely too small, it was actually a well-engineered machine. A few more laps, and she should be able to tame it completely. Although this fact was reassuring. When the girl spotted the checkered flag, she obediently pulled into the garage. She turned off the engine and unfastened her seatbelts, but she didn't get out of the car or take off her helmet because Ron was already beside her, hugging her tightly.
"Young lady, you flew in that car!" The man helped her out of the car, and she took off her helmet and balaclava, taking out the earplugs. "I told you, you did amazingly. Unbelievable lap time, great driving."
The girl wiped her forehead with the back of her hand and blew a strand of wet hair from her forehead.
"It's a really good car, sir."
"A good car without a good driver is just a good car, and a good car with a great driver is a masterful car," Ron shook her hand again, "Brilliant job."
The girl returned his smile, and when she glanced at Tom standing a few steps away, he was also smiling, his smile was the kind of "I told you so."
Y/N gave appropriate feedback to the mechanics and strategists, who now seemed to pay attention to her significantly more than when she first appeared in the garage that morning. Their faces still tried to remain impassive, but nevertheless, they noted everything she had to say. When it was all over, the girl went to change. She washed her face with cold water and looked at herself in the mirror, clenching her hands on the cold sink. She did it.
When she managed to cool down and calm herself down a bit, clutching her helmet under her arm and holding her jumpsuit in the other hand, shortly after she left the bathroom. Suddenly, she bumped into someone, and that someone turned out to be someone she sincerely didn't want to meet that day.
"Watch where you're going."
Senna muttered, holding a lit cigarette between his lips. He gave her a quick glance and disappeared through the doorway, his jumpsuit rustling as he walked away.
The girl squeezed her helmet tighter under her arm and returned to the garage, putting things back in place. After receiving the last praise and handshake from Ron, she said goodbye and left the paddock with Tom. Ayrton pretended to be too busy preparing for the start, so he didn't honor her with even a single glance. When he heard Ron praising her driving, he only snorted under his breath and shook his head. When the garage fell silent again, Ayrton took his place in the car, getting ready to drive.
"1.38.412"
Senna looked up when Ron spoke above his head.
"1.38.412," he repeated calmly, "The lap time of a twenty-three-year-old after her first drive in a Formula 1 car."
The Brazilian snorted and lowered his gaze, putting earplugs in his ears.
"I hope you'll be better than the girl."
Ayrton didn't hear his words anymore because he put on his balaclava and helmet. He didn't believe the girl had achieved such a lap time. And even if she did, it only spoke of the car's capabilities, not her skills. Senna hoped he would be faster by at least a few seconds. He had been racing in Formula 1 for almost five years; he was incredibly fast, and above all, he was a man!
When the tests ended, and he returned to the garage, satisfied with himself and his driving, the first thing he did was to look for Ron's reaction, wanting to see his expression when he rubbed his nose in it. However, the Brit looked at him indulgently, and Senna, not knowing what he meant, quickly tried to free himself from the seat belts. The Brit simply turned the monitor towards him and pointed with his finger at something that, according to Ayrton, was a big mistake.
Between him and the girl, there was a difference of a few seconds, indeed. But Ayrton was slower.
When Senna freed himself from the car, hastily took off his helmet and balaclava, and removed the earplugs, he was about to say something when Ron stopped him, pressing a cassette to his chest.
"Here, watch it tonight and see how the twenty-three-year-old beat you."
Ayrton squeezed the cassette in his hand and only watched him leave, unable to utter a word. It was some kind of absurdity!
Absurd or not, Senna spent the evening in front of the TV. He sat on the couch, leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He frowned and carefully watched the recording from the camera placed in her cockpit. He saw how she aggressively entered corners, braking as late as possible, and how quickly she stepped on the gas when the centrifugal forces stopped working. He took a drag and blew smoke from his mouth, rewinding the tape from the beginning, just as it ended. The recording lasted twenty minutes, and he watched it for the seventh time, counting each lap on his stopwatch. Every time, the result was the same.
He couldn't wrap his head around what she had done, but he decided to consider it just a stroke of luck. She had a better day; he had a slightly worse one. Moreover, it wasn't the testing session or even the qualifying rounds that determined the winner, but the race itself. Driving on an empty track without rivals wanting to take your position was one thing, but racing in a competition where everyone wanted to beat you was a completely different matter. If someone had told Ayrton then that four years later, that girl would shed tears at his funeral, he would have told them to fuck themselves.
Y/N felt a strong arm around her waist, trying to lift her. Ron's heart broke seeing her in such a state. However, he couldn't help her even if he wanted to.
"Y/N, please…," he began, but she shook her head, overcome with tears. Wet stains of tears were visible on the flag covering the coffin. The girl was trembling all over, it was a miracle she could breathe. Since the accident, it seemed like Y/N was handling the tragedy very well, just being sad and quiet. No one had any idea what was yet to come. Everyone who saw Y/N by the coffin, this sight of a broken girl, felt nothing but sympathy. The bond she had formed with Ayrton seemed stronger and much richer in emotions than any he had with any of his partners. Ayrton wasn't just her teammate, he wasn't just a friend or sometimes her biggest enemy. From the very beginning, Y/N mattered to him, and if he said otherwise, he was simply lying.
The official skills assessment test for the girl was scheduled to take place less than three weeks after her first visit to the McLaren garage. Now, however, an official presentation awaited her at the reception hosted by the team. One evening at the company headquarters, a banquet was held, attended by far more people than initially anticipated. Most of them were journalists who had to announce to the world the phenomenon that was a woman at the top level of motor racing.
"It's more crowded here than I thought," the girl admitted when she entered the team headquarters with Tom by her side.
"Everyone is curious about you. There are even a couple of journalists from Australia, believe it or not," Tom said.
She looked at him in shock. "And they flew here specifically for this presentation?"
He smiled and nodded. "They'll be talking to kangaroos and kiwi birds about you," he joked, trying to lighten the mood. And it worked because she giggled at his words. However, her smile faded when she noticed Ron talking to Ayrton and two other men in suits.
"Everything will be fine. You did well on the tests, so you'll do well here too," he said softly, rubbing her arm when he noticed her expression.
"There weren't any sharks in suits and piranhas with cameras there," Tom was about to add some words of encouragement when Ron spotted them and raised his hand with a glass in it, trying to get their attention. They approached him, and he greeted them, introducing them to the directors. Ayrton, standing aside, was mindful of how many people were now watching him and wondering if his new teammate would share Prost's fate. However, the Brazilian had no intention of making an effort for gestures he didn't intend. Nevertheless, courtesy demanded it, so he extended his hand, which she hesitantly shook.
"Senna," he said, his Brazilian accent strongly evident in his last name. "Welcome to the team."
The girl introduced herself as well, but it was hard for her to maintain eye contact. Not because he was almost half a head taller, but because of the confidence emanating from him. It was his team, his place, and his time, and she was just a guest. There was no room for discussion.
Fortunately, the awkward situation was soon interrupted as the drivers and management were invited onstage. Ayrton gestured for the girl to go ahead, and she began to walk in front of him.
"I hope you don't grip the wheel as weakly as you do hands," he murmured behind her, quietly enough so no one else would hear, but loud enough for her to hear his words.
Y/N lowered her gaze, feeling a wave of heat wash over her. Even if she wanted to respond, she couldn't. He caught her completely off guard.
As they stepped onto the small stage, they stood behind one of the cars prepared for this season. The girl intertwined her fingers behind her back and straightened up, standing next to Ayrton. He might play his stupid games on her, but she had no intention of showing that she would easily give in. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye and almost believed that his comment had gone unnoticed, but her cheeks were flushed. Normally, he would probably snort under his breath, but now he kept his composure.
After a few words from Ron and the board members, the floor was given to the drivers. The two of them remained on stage, each with a microphone in hand. Now it was time for the media, for their pressing questions and burning issues.
Ayrton sat relaxed, almost bored. His legs were bent at the knees, slightly apart. One hand was around his waist, resting his elbow on it, holding the microphone in the other hand. He answered questions briefly and to the point, not dwelling more than necessary. His attire alone indicated that today's banquet was just a formality; he wore a suit, but instead of a shirt, he had a white T-shirt, and on his feet were sports shoes.
Despite her best efforts not to stress out, Y/N was far from as calm as Ayrton. She sat up straight, one leg crossed over the other. Although her red dress practically touched the floor, she glanced occasionally to make sure nothing was out of place. She felt like every move, even the smallest one, was being watched and analyzed. She felt she wasn't focusing on the content of the questions but on how she appeared.
The girl blinked several times, trying to find a sensible answer to the question that had been directed at her a few seconds ago.
"Could you repeat that?" she asked, feeling a bit embarrassed about her inattention. Ayrton, however, heard the question well.
"I asked if you think you're good enough to compete with men or if you're just here for publicity? Racing is still a male-dominated sport, and it seems like you're just trying to prove something rather than compete," the man in glasses squeezed the voice recorder in his hand and looked at her expectantly. Seeing her confusion, he sighed, "I see you're not too bright, so let me ask directly - do you really think you belong here? Do you have what it takes to keep up with the boys on the track?"
The girl panicked a little; this question completely threw her off guard. Emotions overwhelmed her, and she couldn't utter a word. But there was someone who could speak and had an exceptionally sharp tongue.
"I see that, Mr. - again, for whom are you writing?" Ayrton spoke up, furrowing his brows.
"John Ruffleck, Guardian."
"Ah, of course, the Guardian," the man clicked his tongue indulgently. "Clearly, you are the one that didn't shine with intelligence, asking last year's Formula 3 world champion if she fits in here." Y/N was shocked to hear that Ayrton stood up for her. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. Despite still sitting calmly, the Brazilian was ready for a verbal battle. "If I fit in here, then the 23-year-old who set a better lap time than me during the tests also fits."
Ayrton bluntly silenced the journalist, who merely muttered a quiet "Thank you" and lowered his head.
Several more questions were thrown in by Ayrton, steering the conversation away from sexist undertones. By the end of the conference, there were no more questions about sexist issues. The drivers got up from their seats, and Y/N turned off her microphone, placing it on the sound table as Senna did the same.
"Thank you," she said, looking at him. He also looked at her, but this time his expression didn't express annoyance or boredom, as it did two times before when their eyes met.
"Don't thank me," he said, taking two glasses of champagne from the waitress. "You are allow to drink, right?" he asked before handing her one of them. She nodded and took the glass from him. "Don't thank me, just learn to counter such nonsense. If they're rude, we can be rude too."
Y/N took a big sip of champagne. Her mouth was dry from nerves.
"I don't want to be rude, it's not proper," she said.
"Not proper?" Senna scoffed. "Because you're a girl?"
"Because they'll think poorly of me"
"Do you really care what that bunch of idiots thinks?"
The girl lowered her gaze. Ayrton was right.
Did she really care? She was a driver; she was supposed to deliver good results. She wasn't supposed to please the audience.
She was about to reply when Ron approached them, cursing the Guardian journalist's stupidity. He was so caught up that he didn't even notice Ayrton sending the girl a final glance and then finishing his champagne, taking out cigarettes from his back pocket, and walking away towards the exit. Y/N only watched him go. At that moment, neither of them had any idea how much she would learn from Ayrton, or that he would gladly take on the role of a teacher himself. No one would have even thought of it then.
When Ron managed to lift the shaken girl, she reached for her helmet again and pressed it to her chest. When she looked up, across from her, on the other side of the coffin, she saw a man in a wheelchair. Frank Williams looked at her in silence, but his gaze was apologetic, his face sad, and his eyes looked like he hadn't slept for days.
"Why?" Y/N whispered, but she wasn't sure if anything managed to leave her lips. Williams didn't need to hear her; her eyes said it all. Even if he couldn't hear her question or look into her swollen, tear-filled eyes, he would know perfectly well that she blamed him for his death. "Why, Frank? Why?" Maybe even more than she blamed God.
"If you can hold on to me for longer than five seconds, I'll let you pass," Ayrton said, exhaling smoke. He sat on one of the crates outside McLaren's garage, wearing sunglasses. The weather for the upcoming race looked exceptionally good, but Senna wouldn't mind rain.
"Are you challenging me?" the girl asked, squinting and looking at him against the light. They were sitting outside, where it was quieter, as the mechanics worked inside the garage.
"Why would I?" the man chuckled, taking another drag. Seeing her uncertainty, he offered her a cigarette, trying to reassure her with his gesture.
Y/N took the cigarette and inhaled the smoke, which tickled her throat, making her cough. She wrinkled her nose and after a moment handed him back the cigarette.
"Don't you want to test my braking skills and eliminate me from the race?"
Ayrton laughed and shook his head. "So, I do have a bad reputation after all."
"Definitely not the best," the girl said softly, smiling uncertainly. Ayrton playfully nudged the crate she was sitting on with his foot. He genuinely liked this girl; in fact, he could and wanted to work with her. Now he was even willing to let her win the race if she showed that she could keep up with him. She had demonstrated many times that she could drive at an exceptionally high level, so Senna was willing to show some humanity and let her achieve her first victory, especially on home turf. He stubbed out the cigarette and stood up, taking off his cap and placing it on her head, pulling it down over her eyes.
"Five seconds," he repeated, walking away as she adjusted the cap on her head.
The girl decided to take up the challenge, realizing that such an opportunity might never come again. Ayrton and collaboration? They were complete opposites after all. Y/N, who started the next day from the last place on the podium, managed to fight her way up to second place at the beginning of the race. She spent the next forty laps chasing after Ayrton, wondering if there was any point in chasing him if she couldn't overtake him. Seeing his familiar helmet in the side mirror, Ayrton smiled. He added a bit more throttle and began counting to five, but the girl's car didn't seem to be falling back. When the agreed time was up, much to everyone's disbelief, both on the track and in front of the TVs, Senna slowed down and obediently let her pass. Unable to believe her own eyes, the girl pressed the gas and took the lead, crossing the finish line with him.
She only believed in her victory when Ayrton offered her his hand and helped her onto the podium.
"Five seconds," he said, smiling at her.
"Five seconds," she replied, returning the smile.
How much she would give to see Ayrton again, even for five seconds. To be able to hug him for five seconds, see his smile. Five seconds now would last like an eternity, for which she would pay any price.
The church was filled with people, mostly family and friends, individuals directly connected to Ayrton. The remaining people were outside, surrounding the church, also gathering along the main road. There were talks of crowds, thousands who came to bid farewell to their hero. They too would give much to see Ayrton even for five seconds. Whole, alive, before the Imola accident.
Y/N held the helmet on her knees, looking at it with vacant eyes. She ran her fingers along the edges, tracing the stickers and sponsor names. She squeezed the soft padding inside. She closed her eyelids. Five seconds.
"Necessity is the mother of invention," Ayrton said, loud enough to make the girl jump. She was barefoot, wearing shorts and a bikini top, with his helmet on her head, visor down. She waved a piece of cardboard towards the grill, trying to ignite it better and not wanting the smoke to get in her eyes, deciding to use whatever she had at hand. And hoping Ayrton wouldn't get mad that she used his helmet for this.
The man smiled and shook his head, placing the wood he held in his hands next to the grill. Standing next to the girl, he lifted the visor and looked into her eyes. She looked at him apologetically.
"I'm sorry, I-"
"It suits you," Senna interrupted, smiling. "Possibly even more than me."
"Do you think so?"
The man nodded. His hair, damp from swimming in the lake, fell onto his forehead, and his brown eyes sparkled. Ayrton had been looking at Y/N like this for some time, in a way that many would describe as tender. Certainly, the girl wasn't just a teammate to him, as who would invite a teammate to their hometown to meet their closest family. Certainly not Ayrton.
"I love you, Y/N,"
He confessed as he lay on the jetty, gazing at the starry sky, where there was no trace of the hot Brazilian sun anymore.
The girl laughed and took a sip of beer, lying next to him and leaning on his arm. Both were drunk, so she was sure Ayrton was joking. However, when his confession was met with silence and he turned to look at her, his face was deadly serious.
"I mean it, Y/N. I love you,"
"You can't love me, you have a girlfriend," she replied, still laughing. There was no way he was serious.
Ayrton got up and without a word, kissed her, wanting to prove his words. When he pulled away after a moment, there was no smile on the girl's face. He was about to say something again, but she touched his cheek and returned the kiss, and he pulled her closer, holding her tightly in his arms. That night, they would find out how much they meant to each other.
Senna meant a lot to the girl, there was no doubt about it. He also meant unimaginable things to all those who took part in the funeral ceremonies, not only in Brazil itself but worldwide. It might have seemed like the world had lost an incredible man, someone who in life had already become a legend. Who would have thought that this living, almost mystical legend was just a man? A man who is mortal. Surely no one looked at Senna that way. Certainly not Frank Williams, who eventually decided to agree and accept Ayrton into his team, bearing an incredible burden now. Senna was supposed to lift his team to great heights, and his tragic death dealt a blow, not so much personal as it was business-related. However, at that moment, that mattered least.
Y/N and Ayrton sat at the kitchen table, eating a late dinner in silence. They were in their shared home in Europe, but for the past few months, the walls of the house seemed to be becoming more alien with each passing day. The atmosphere was as thick as it is now, when none of the people sitting at the table even bothered to steal a glance.
"Why didn't you tell me you wanted to go to Williams?"
The girl asked, stirring the contents of her plate with her fork. Ayrton tightened his grip on the glass and took a few sips from it.
"Ayrton-", "Why did I have to tell you?" he entered her words and looked at her, "Just to make you try to stop me?
Y/N blinked several times. She was shocked. She had the impression that the man sitting opposite was a complete stranger and someone she had never known before.
"To stop you? I'm your girlfriend, I should be the first to know about your plans, not hear from strangers."
"Did it change anything? Did something happen that you didn't find out from me?"
"Yes!" she shouted, slamming her hand on the table. She was so done with all of this. "I'm fed up with you treating me like an enemy for several weeks!"
"Don't you dare raise your voice at me!" he stood up, leaning over and pointing his finger at her. "You have no idea how much I had to do to get that offer, how much it cost me!"
"I have no idea, because you don't tell me anything!" she also stood up, pushing his hand away, which he was aiming at her face, "Fame has gone to your head, you're acting like a complete idi-" She didn't get to finish because Ayrton slapped her across the face. He didn't realize when his open hand met her cheek. Y/N grabbed her cheek and looked at him in shock. At the moment of the strike, he also seemed to snap out of it, as if he had been hit himself.
"Y/N, I'm sorry," he said calmly, trying to approach her, but she backed away a few steps, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that."
"But you did," she said with a trembling voice, tears welling up in her eyes, "I don't recognize you anymore, Ayrton".
As the funeral rites began, the last thing on Y/N's mind was their recent arguments, of which there had been plenty lately. Nonetheless, since the incident when he raised his hand to her, Senna understood he had crossed a line. The only upside of the whole situation was that they had started talking again, and Ayrton had come to realize that Y/N was not his enemy. Yes, on the track, the girl might be someone he now had to defeat even more than usual, but she was still his friend, his girlfriend, his partner. Speaking of partners, many women appeared at the funeral, but four of them spent exceptionally long periods by the coffin. They had a lot in common, yet none of them deigned to exchange glances. Each of Ayrton's partners, even today, on such a dramatic day, looked at her as if she were an enemy. Viviane made sure none of them sat on the bench where the family was seated. Y/N belonged to the family. She didn't intrude, Ayrton invited her himself.
"Maybe you should take a break?" Sid Watkins persistently tried to persuade Ayrton and Y/N to withdraw from the upcoming race. "Two weeks, you'll come back to Monaco in better shape, with lighter minds."
Senna sat on one of the crates behind the Williams garage, elbows resting on his knees. Y/N repeatedly wiped her tear-streaked cheeks, trembling hand holding a cigarette. An hour ago, the qualifying session for tomorrow's race was interrupted by Roland Ratzerberger's serious accident. The man was taken to the hospital, but many said he was taken from the track already dead.
"This shouldn't have happened, there shouldn't have been talk of such an accident," the girl repeated, almost hysterical. She was in tremendous shock, having witnessed the accident herself as she was the one who followed Ratzerberger's car.
"They need to cancel the race," Senna said dryly, his gaze fixed on a point in front of him. "We can't race here, not after something like this."
"And if they don't cancel?" Sid looked from Ayrton to Y/N. "Will you race in such a state? You won't sleep over this until tomorrow."
"If they don't cancel, we'll race for him. I'll drive the best I can to honor him with a victory," Ayrton decided, raising his gaze and looking the doctor in the eyes.
"You like fishing, right? Why don't you go back to Brazil, catch some fish, relax. If you want, I'll come with you, I could use it too."
Senna rubbed his face with his hands, intertwining his fingers and pressing them against his lips. Again, he fell silent. He knew they couldn't not race; he certainly couldn't afford to tell Frank after months of effort that he wouldn't start tomorrow. He couldn't do that.
"I don't want to race," Y/N admitted, shaking her head, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Ayrton, he, Roland-" the man rose without a word and hugged her tightly. He enveloped her in a strong embrace, stroking her hair. Watkins saw that Senna was thinking intensely. And no matter what he said or did to convince him to skip the race, he would do it his own way.
"Think about it, Ayrton. Just think about it," he said one last time. Senna looked him in the eyes and nodded in silence.
Late in the afternoon, Ayrton and Y/N returned to the hotel. They didn't talk much; Y/N occasionally wiped her eyes with a tissue. Ayrton held her hand a lot. When they lay in bed, Senna laid on her stomach, wrapping his arm around her waist. The girl began to run her fingers through his damp hair.
"I don't want to start tomorrow, Y/N," he said softly. He was facing away from her, she couldn't see that he was crying too. "I have a bad feeling."
"You know nobody can force you to do it," she said calmly, her other hand stroking his cheek. "Maybe Watkins is right? Let's fly to your parents, spend time with the kids. It's been two months since you've seen them."
"I can't," he said, wiping his face with his hand. "I can't, nobody needs a driver who doesn't race."
"Ayrton—" "Just hold me," he interrupted, sitting up. The girl obeyed his command, sitting between his legs and hugging him tightly. Both were silent; Y/N tenderly stroked his head and tense back.
"This will be my last season," he said, not moving an inch from her. "I've done enough; I don't need more. I want to focus on something else, on more important things."
"On what, my love?" she asked gently, still stroking his hair.
"I want to be a dad,"
Senna surprised her with this confession. The girl smiled.
"Would you like to have a son or a daughter?"
"A daughter, oh, how I'd love a daughter," he said, pulling away to look at her face. "Would you like to have a child with me? And become my wife?"
Y/N smiled and nodded. "You know I would."
Ayrton returned her smile and cupped her face in his hands, kissing her deeply.
"Te amo, querido,"
"I love you too, Ayrton. And i will always do."
"And i will always do," Y/N said qiuetly, watching as the coffin slowly descends into the ground. Nothing can destroy such love, certainly not death.
#.fav fic#.Fav fics#f1 imagines#f1#f1 one shot#formula 1#f1 oneshots#f1 imagine#ayrton senna#ayrton senna x reader#ayrton senna x you#as12#classic f1#all time fave#.all-time fav#my comfort fic fr#delulujuls ily#also I just scrolled up and never recognized how literally perfect the title is#or maybe i have before#i remember the word though#because it crosses my mind atleast once a day
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So if a Mel and Caitlyn pair up defeats a dictator and wins a war (at least the first part), a Vi and Jayce team up only ever kills kids or fucks up a mission, and l then what does a Jinx and Viktor pair do? What do the other options make?
Here are my ideas, ranking from best outcome to worst or what actually gets done.
Genuinely think a Viktor Mel pair (depending on if they both have some sort of magic) save the world. Both incredibly intelligent. Both caring but can’t be manipulated by emotions easily (influenced is a different story but damn when you’ve got a terminal illness or a dictator mom it’s hard being normal). However I think the arcane writers knew the team up would be too powerful. Also incredibly sexy. If they just had tea together once I think there would be no arcane story to tell.
Cait and Viktor. Not a lot getting done but if we’re thinking season 1 then it’s gonna be so nice and calm. They’re having tea. They’re planning our improvements for Zaun. A harp sings in the distance. They talk about Jayce. Caitlyn asks questions and listens to the answers and vice versa. World peace maybe not achieved but close.
Technically Jayce helped Cait free Vi and helped cover it up, as well as help her when Caitlyn tried explaining what was going on with Silco. Very even results. Nothing major changing here but typical for people who literally just bring out nothing in each other besides…friendship? Siblings? Idk.
Vi and Viktor would probably get along in the sense of they knew an older Zaun. (At least in comparison to Jinx.) Vi can be pretty gentle and Viktor definitely cares. Battle wise he ain’t gonna do much (the only time he really fought was when it wasn’t a good thing for anyone) but he’s bring the smarts to Vi’s streets. They’re gonna win the battle but it will be tough. Some lives may be lost but it ain’t theirs.
Mel and Vi….Vi does not like politicians. Vi does not like people from Piltover beyond Caitlyn (and maybe Jayce?) They argue the whole time. Nothing bad happens but nothing gets done. It’s mostly Vi’s fault but Mel can’t let it go. It’s been three days and they haven’t left the council room. It ends with the mutual agreement to never meet again.
Technically a Cait/Jinx pair saved Vi (after the commune) and also the conversation they had in the jail was actually civil. Don’t think a whole lot is getting done but a good battle buddies I think. There’s gonna be tension though. Lots of arguing and glares. Caitlyn’s hair is now orange and Jinx lost another finger. Lots more damage than necessary.
Mel and Jinx. Someone is dying. It might not be one of them but it’s definitely someone who shouldn’t be dead. Mel’s level-headedness barely works on Vi and it definitely won’t work on Jinx. She’s never had a younger sister. Jinx knows what buttons to push. The building is on fire.
Jayce and Jinx. Mostly everyone is dead except for Vi and Viktor somehow, or the exact reverse. They haven’t stopped arguing since they met. They just keep slapping each other like cats. Jayce keeps trying to hit her with the hammer but she’s elusive and it’s like a game of wack-a-mole. He kills a kid each time instead. Jinx won’t stop making fun of him. Someone lost a limb at some point.
Jinx and Viktor. Everyone is dead. I would say they are too but no, they’re stuck at the end of the universe with each other. It’s equally both their faults. Viktor deadnames her every time she insults him. She never stops and neither does he. They each have a shrine to their respective loved one and it’s the only places they don’t bother each other. She bleached half his hair. He poured out her nail polish. They fight till the end of time itself. Sometimes they have movie nights where their respective hallucinations (Silco, Sky) join.
#arcane#arcane spoilers#jayce talis#viktor arcane#mel medarda#jinx arcane#vi arcane#caitlyn kiramman#headcanons#arcane headcanon#literally think that if Mel and Viktor had actually teamed up shit would get DONE#she’d help bring back his confidence to a more extroverted way#be like shout it from the rooftops babe stop making googly eyes at your lab partner#she’d actually get a better perspective on Zaun#but yeah I do think if Jinx and Viktor teamed up they would literally destroy the world#and you would never be able to tell if it was on purpose or not#literally they end the world and they still can’t stop arguing lmfao#Silco and Sky watching in the back of their minds like what on fucking earth is this#she’s like hey I killed you oops lmao and he’s like well I fucking assimilated your adoptive dad 1 and your sister so how bout that#rinse repeat till the end of time#arcane season 2
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The fact that I have already seen a good number of people complaining about how mean Stolas was supposedly being to Blitz in his song and thinking that he legitimately believes that Bliz is a wretched little worm that he owns is just. Utterly baffling. I'm genuinely unsure how anyone could miss the fact that it was an act. It was all a ruse he threw together on the fly in an effort to protect Blitz, wherein he pretended to be a big, bad, masterclass manipulator who was just using Blitz as his pawn.
For anyone who doubts it, here's the truth straight from the song writer's mouth:
This is literally the same exact ploy he pulled in Truth Seekers. He came in at the last minute and put on a big show to convince the people threatening Blitz and the rest of I.M.P that he was a big, scary demon who was so much more powerful than them (which he is) and practically owned them as his minions used to carry out his evil deeds (which he doesn't).
Though, perhaps I shouldn't be too surprised, since pretty much everyone I've seen talk about that scene fails to realize that that and his "who dares threaten my impish little plaything?" and "what's the matter, demon hunter? Never seen a real demon before?" comments were nothing but an act and he didn't actually believe any of it, too.
In Mastermind, he was trying to make sure that all of the blame would be put on himself, so that, as shown above, they would give Blitz the same treatment the others got when Blitz claimed they had nothing to do with it and were just following his orders.
In Truth Seekers, he was trying to intimidate the humans and make them so scared he wouldn't need to resort to violence to stop them. Why else would he put on that whole horror movie display and announce himself and his relationship with Blitz at all, if his entire goal was anything other than to incapacitate them with fear? If all he wanted was to get I.M.P out, he could have quickly and easily killed them without saying a word. Calling Blitz his plaything and saying that he was a real demon served to a) establish that he was the kind of person who had playthings, because that's the kind of cruel, domineering creature that most humans expect demons to be, and b) further intimidate them by implying that he was exponentially more powerful than the demons who just decimated their whole entire team.
He didn't mean any of it either time (except for when he called Blitz an idiot, maybe); those weren't things he actually believed. Why would he legitimately think of Blitz as his plaything and someone he owns when in both cases it was far enough in the timeline that he was already in love with Blitz and wanted a real, genuine romantic relationship with him and not just the fleeting taste of one he got while restrained by the full moon deal?
Those were classist/racist things to say, of course, and that was the point. That was language he deliberately used because it fit the persona he was using to appear villainous. Where he went wrong the first time and how his actual internalized racism came into play was in how he didn't for even one single second think about how those statements would look to the members of I.M.P, because he'd never once had to think about the fact they must get those kinds of demeaning comments all the time and had no way of knowing that he was faking. Calling them "little creatures" while he was scolding them probably wasn't part of the act though, and he didn't realize that it was classist/racist to say those things at all, regardless of intent, so he never apologized or reassured them that he didn't actually believe Blitz was his plaything or that they weren't real demons.
But with the power of hindsight and a more omniscient view of the characters that we get later on, it's so clear to see that all of these comments were only said as part of his theatrical portrayals of a villain, rather than things he truly believes, because he doesn't talk like that after Ozzie's when he realized just how much he had unintentionally been hurting Blitz. Don't fall for his ruse, guys, especially not when it's as blatantly obvious as it was in Mastermind.
#helluva boss#stolas goetia#blitzo#text post#meta#my post#helluva boss spoilers#one day I'll be free of all these extremely bad faith takes#one day#but today is clearly not that day
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Why do so many BuckTommy fans think Tommy was right in what he did? In what way is dumping a dude you love the correct thing to do reather than sitting down an talking? I don't get it. Is it because people like Tommy more than Buck so want to make Buck the bad guy despite being the one that was left?
ok so on the off chance that this is asked in good faith i'm going to give you an answer that's not "because they're gonna introduce tommy's next love interest as your dad"
i genuinely think either a) you're taking the words of one or a handful of bucktommy shippers and applying their mentality to "so many" bucktommy shippers or b) you're misconstruing "buck was in part to blame for the breakup" as "tommy was 100% in the right". i have legitimately never seen anyone ever claim that tommy was right to leave buck and, respectfully, i have no idea what the fuck you're talking about
if you're making the first assumption, i genuinely can't help you. you need to get out of the bubble of your experience being The experience. if it's the second one, you need to stop conflating "flawed characters making flawed decisions is compelling" with "that character made the correct decision". tommy is a flawed character. BUCK is a flawed character. the breakup is less about who was right and way more about understanding character motivation.
tommy is fundamentally a man who is uncomfortable with praise (as we see on several occasions), so to be put on a pedestal causes him to panic and cut and run. buck is fundamentally so insecurely attached he might as well be the picture on the psychtoday website's definition of the term. they didn't have to do what they did, but then it wouldn't be a tragedy, would it? it wouldn't be a story about the loneliness inherent to a shitty queer childhood, and two of the ways it can churn out dysfunctional adults. it wouldn't tee up one of the most compelling potential love stories about overcoming those gut reactions (clinging and self-isolation) i have ever seen in my life.
tl;dr they were both wrong. they were both hurting. buck was trying to enmesh himself so deep into tommy's being that he couldn't ever leave, and that freaked tommy the fuck out. so. yeah. that's why people aren't shitting all over tommy constantly for breaking up with him.
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You know, i wanna expand a bit on Billy’s relationship with Ebenezer, because I feel like it’s so important to dissecting Billy’s character.
⚠️If you don’t wanna read about my thoughts on Billy’s mental abuse by his only adult relative, then please click away⚠️
My mind went back to the fact that Billy couldn’t go with his family to Egypt solely because of his lacking grades. I wondered, E must know, right? Maybe he was told in passing, maybe Billy told him and asked him for help studying, whatever. And I just know that he made fun of and ridiculed him. He likely called him dumb, moronic, any name in the book.
Ebenezer constantly relayed to him and validated the notion that Billy stopped HIMSELF from being with his family in their last moments. That he was too stupid to be with them.
With that in mind, he would have had to be solely dependent on his uncle. Unfortunately, that’s not possible. He’d have no choice but to trust him, but we know that backfires. His only reprieve is school, so when he gets home, Ebenezer would tell him to put his stupid brain to good use.
Anyone can sneak and buy beer. Even an idiot like him.
The basis for their entire relationship is that Billy looks like his dad. Hell, he practically worships him. But because Ebenezer can’t very well scare his younger brother(height mixed with a strong personality), he goes for the closest thing. A spitting image of his half-brother who still hasn’t developed mentally and barely exhibits any traits.
It will take years for Billy to realize that Ebenezer is a coward. Until then, that man is his worst nightmare. He’s the thing he fears most in this world. Forget Black Adam, Darkseid, and Mr. Mind. Merely thinking of Ebenezer Batson, the man who belittled him so much that he has trouble trusting himself, causes him to shut down or divert away from those thoughts.
Just like his dad, Billy is everything Ebenezer isn’t. He’s young. He’s talented. He’s charming. He has opportunity. And he believes in himself because his parents made sure he did. So the worst possible thing Ebenezer could ever do to his nephew is mess up all that careful development.
“Are you sure they loved you?”
“Are you sure you can do this?”
“You’re the only one who stopped you from being with them.”
“When are you going to realize that you can’t do anything right?”
Ebenezer Batson is the only person in the world who knows the one other way he could crush his nephew’s spirit. Ruining Captain Marvel’s image.
Because he definitely “knows” knows. CC’s face on Marvel tells him everything he should know.
The one thing, above all, that could crush his nephew’s spirit into dust, is ruining Captain Marvel’s image. Because it’s genuinely all he has left of his dad. He’s the only way he can see his dad talking and moving on screen. It’s like he’s still here, and Billy never wants to ruin that.
But he’s an idiot. That’s what E used to tell him. What if he makes a mistake and no one likes Cap anymore? What if he’s ruined the image of CC Batson(his face, his ideals, his hopes) forever?
Just the fact that it’s not these cosmic beings of mass destruction or mad scientists bent on world domination that shakes Marvel/Billy to his core. It’s this evil old man who knows him better than anyone. Knows how he thinks. Knows what buttons to push to get him angry and look bad. Knows how to lower that self-confidence.
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a big thing that bothers me about the rain fight is how much of it mike is just making up. not “making up” as in the things he say aren’t real, but as in they weren’t necessarily a part of the argument beforehand. the only thing will did was get upset that mike and lucas were condescending to him and just being bad friends overall. he’s also mad about mike and el, which is pretty obvious. mike responses are kind of interesting.
1: “el’s not stupid”
while i absolutely agree here, why are we avoiding the full statement? will had asked “why? so you can swap spit with some stupid girl?” he wasn't trying to take a jab at el here (at least in my opinion). he genuinely thinks the idea that mike wants to kiss girls more than he wants to hang out with him is ridiculous. i also think mike is aware of this and wants to change the topic asap. because will is right lol
2: “but we’re not kids anymore. i mean what did you think, really? that we were never gonna get girlfriends? that we were just gonna sit in my basement all day and play games for the rest of our lives?”
this is just an awful argument tbh. also? will hadn’t said he never wanted a girlfriend, will hadn’t said the bit about sitting in mikes basement playing dnd. mike just knows they were both thinking about it. they both see the same life for themselves, mike just considers it immature and unrealistic. he thinks if he grows up (dates girls, stops playing dnd, etc.) his thoughts will mature with him. his entire dialogue here is just projection.
#byler#stranger things#mike wheeler#will byers#byler is canon#mike wheeler is gay#byler thoughts#byler theory
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First Kiss
Summary: You’ve never truly thought the perfect first kissed existed after a drunken one night stand had stolen every innocence you have ever had, but Remus is here to prove what a first kiss should really be like.
Remus Lupin x Fem!reader
Wc: 1143
Content Warnings: Modern au, fem!reader, swearing, drunk sex (in the past, only mentioned not described fully), kissing, pinning, friends to lovers, Sirius and James are supportive, Lily as best friend, Peter here but not here, low standards, if I’ve missed any please let me know!
a/n: Hello lovely’s! This is Fic number three now and I can’t say my writings getting better but the more you interact the more confidence I get! I’m sorry it’s been a long time since my last Fic but life’s been hectic and I’m a slow writer so that’s on me. Either way I hope you enjoy this little Remus story today and have a wonderful weekend/week! Also not proof read so sorry for any mistakes!
When you were little you would imagine your first kiss as magical and romantic, something you would remember forever. Instead your innocence was tainted by a drunken night full of affectionless touches and meaningless words. Little you thought a prince would sweep you off your feet and steal the air from your lungs. And although the air was taken from you that night, it wasn’t quite as enjoyable as you thought.
After that one night you stopped expecting the love you read in your books or the touches you saw in the movies. Every relationship you indulged in only reinforced the obnoxiously low standards you had set for yourself. Your friends, more specifically Lily, encouraged you to find better men, to set a better standard, but you refused. You didn’t think you could find any better than you already have.
That was until you met Remus.
Him and his friends had opened a music store right next to your bookstore, and that helped boost both of your stores' activity. The boys invited you out to coffee to kinda get to know each other a bit more and you were immediately besotted with Remus. His calm nature, chocolate eyes, and even the scar on his upper lip that he got from a guy named Sniffilous, though you don't believe that that was his actual name. Remus was effortlessly kind and brilliant and knew when a joke had gone too far. He was unlike any guy you’ve met.
You started hanging out with him more often than the rest of your friends and got extremely close. Close enough that people have begun to speculate that there was something more brewing between us. You desperately want there to be. Every time his hand grazes yours and when he whispers a joke in your ears so that only you can hear, you feel special. Like you’re worth something more than a quick fuck.
One Saturday when you were hanging out with Remus at your bookstore you asked him what his most embarrassing story was, just out of curiosity.
Remus was fiddling with a pen when he answered. “I believe my most embarrassing story was when I believed a story my mother once told me all the way until I was fourteen.” He says quietly, not trying to break the comfortable silence around us.
You lean forwards on your elbows that were situated on your desk. You were previously rifling through documents and files trying to find the book you were missing. “What was the story?” You ask, genuinely intrigued.
Remus hummed and rose to stand next to me and sit on my desk. “My mother once believed that there was a magical world, full of wizards and witches, and they had a whole society. She made me believe that one day I would get accepted into a school for the young witches and wizards and that I would learn every spell in the book. I only stopped believing that when I thought a teacher was a disguised troll and I got sent home. I still cringe thinking about those ten years of my life.” When Remus finishes with the story he scrunches his perfectly adorable nose so cutely that you give a little giggle.
“Now you.” Remus gestures to me with his head.
“Me?” You ask confused.
“Yeah, you,” He says again, “what’s your most embarrassing story?” He asks it in such an innocently mischievous way that you can’t help but chuckle and think about it.
“I think my most embarrassing story would be my first kiss.” You blush as you answer, immediately regretting even mentioning it. However, you see the curiosity in his eyes and continue. “I was drunk and some guy who I was talking to that night brought me back to his apartment. I don’t think I have to say much more than that.” You are hard core blushing now and look back at your files.
Remus however is looking your way with a furrowed brow and downturned lips. He hops off the desk and stands in front of you. “You're telling me that your first kiss was a drunken one night stand? That’s it?” He asks. You nod hesitantly, wondering why he looks so distraught.
“Oh baby,” He said softly and you felt your heart pick up its pace, his proximity suddenly making your knees weak. “That does not count as a first kiss.”
You look up into his eyes that now burn with a small desire and start protesting. “But a first kiss is when you have your kiss for the first time, and I did. That counts as my first kiss-” Your cut off by soft lips gently pushing against yours. Your eyes widen in shock before a steady hand cups your cheek and you melt into the kiss. It wasn’t a quick in and out but it also wasn’t a long, heavy makeout sesh. Just a soft kiss on the lips and Remus was pulling away.
“That is a first kiss. It’s loving and soft and it was one you were fully aware of.” Remus cups the back of your neck and pulls it forwards to rest our foreheads together. “Your first kiss isn;t your first kiss until you say it is.” Remus speaks so softly you almost couldn’t hear him.
You smile slightly and lean in close again, your lips making contact with his once more. This time it goes on a little longer to the point where you grip his shoulders begging for more, noises escape your lips without your permission, and when you’re finally finished you pull away gasping for air.
Remus has a beautiful smile on his face as he looks at you. He bends his head down enough to whisper in your ear. “I really like kissing you.” You giggle and bury your face into his chest. In the distance you hear cheers and clapping and as you lift your face you see two of Remus’ close friends, James and Sirius, appearing from behind the bookcases. Your cheeks burn a deep red as you hide your face into Remus’ chest once again.
“How long have you two been here?” Remus asks with a small sigh.
Sirius laughs and pats him on the back. “Just long enough to see the show Moons, and quite the show it was!” He teases. James elbows him in the ribs but his smile is a carbon copy of Sirius’.
As the boys divulge into endless bickering and attempt to embarrass your poor Remus even more, you bury yourself fully into his arms. You wonder what this will mean for the future. For your relationship, and although in any other scenario you would have been nervous all you can feel is excitement.
You thought that this would be a very good first kiss to remember.
#remus lupin x reader#reader x remus lupin#x reader#reader x character#first kiss#love#friends to lovers#fanfic#marauders#modern au#cute
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if you’re out there saying that lando isn’t championship material because of this, please laugh at yourself.
basic qualities of a sportsperson or a champion, includes integrity, sacrifice, determination, disciple, adaptability, respect, and being a leader.
these are the most basic qualities that i’m sure everyone is aware of.
lando has shown every such quality all throughout the year. if you’re a hater, you obviously wouldn’t have the brain capacity to understand that, but if you look at it objectively, you will realise.
he has so much of integrity and he’s so open about his struggles on and off track. he knows when the car is fast and when he can maximise his pace and points. he knows what his faults are, and he’s been honest about them all throughout the year.
he sacrificed his win in hungary, he sacrificed his win in this sprint, but he’s proud to make that sacrifice. he’s proud that he did that because he’s also thinking about his team and his teammate. he’s aware of the mistakes he made, he’s aware of what the team and teammate did for him (even if it’s not much), but he’s willing to sacrifice and give the team and teammate the respect they deserve.
he is incredibly determined and disciplined. he was one of the few mid filed drivers who got podiums consistently. he’s been in top 10 all year, except that one dnf. he’s got 8 poles this year, and that’s all because of his determination and discipline.
lando and mclaren were not prepared to be in a title fight this year. remember that. lando adapted beautifully for a title fight, even if he lost. yes, he made mistakes. but he adapted on track and off track, and that’s something most people cannot do.
for all those assholes saying that lando is disrespectful, i genuinely hope that you get an mri or something to make sure your understanding capabilities haven’t been compromised. lando has praised max in every interview possible before the title fight. he has praised lewis, he has praised oscar, he has praised everyone, because he respects them. they might be rivals, but he respects them and knows that each driver is skilled. he respects oscar enough to switch positions with him to make up for são paulo. he respects max enough to go back to the media pen to congratulate his title rival and be genuinely happy about it.
if you think lando had no part in bringing mclaren to where it is today, and if you think lando has never been a leader for mclaren, i suggest you stop watching altogether. mclaren is number one in the wcc because of lando. because lando stayed and believed and didn’t go for a different team when he had the opportunity. lando was loyal to his team, he sat with mechanics, engineers, team principal, everyone to be able to get the result they have today.
while i had no intentions of ranting, but people saying that lando’s “too soft for a champion”, it’s not called being soft, it’s called respect, and it’s called being a sportsperson.
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why I think meljay has more potential than jayvik (I view them as platonic friends) and my thoughts on season 2
Mel is a strong and developed character, and so is Jayace. They look very good together, people love them and listen to their opinions. While Victor is more closed off and oftenly irritated unlike Jayce.
Jayce shows Mel a love that requires nothing in return and a genuineness that keeps her interested and makes her think about giving herself a chance at love.
Jayce respects Mel, and in turn Mel respects Jayce they have an equal relationship.
Mel is one of the few people Jace looks to for care and support in times of crisis. While Victor and Jayce often share misunderstandings.
Jayce didn't stay with Victor out of great love, but simply out of guilt. I'm sure that if he had been a little selfish, he would have let himself stay with the love of his life.
Jayce and Victor shared a dream, while Mel and Jayce shared a sincere romantic love.
I am very disappointed with the second season, especially the last three episodes, because I thought we would see further development of the Meljay as a couple, I would have liked to see their relationship getting stronger and stronger.
I really expected Jayce to defeat Victor and come back alive to his family, Cait and Mel.
Also I'm really angry at Jayce's behavior towards Mel when he found out she was a mage.
Instead of hugging his girlfriend after being where the fuck she was, asking what happened to her, he blamed her for saving only him and not everyone (especially Victor 🤡).
Mel loves him dearly and saved his ass for the second time and this is how grateful he is?
Okay, he apologized afterwards, but after they didn't even interact in any normal way. Jace just left her alone, and I understand that the war was hard on Jayce, but that didn't stop him from thinking about Victor.
I think the Meljay relationship was thrown under the bus
Jayce, who I loved as a character, would never do that to the girl he loves.
Jayvik is just fanservice for little girls who like to dream about gay relationships. Meljay is a canon couple who were perfect for each other. Well as always we see that true love in the media is constantly being sacrificed for more views and fans.
That's all I have to say.
#arcane#arcane jayce#jayce talis#meljay#meljay deserved better#mel medarda#jayvik#arcane season 2#viktor arcane
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